Happy Hill of Beans
by Ninnik Nishukan
Summary: A little tale about confidence and about seeing potential. Drakken/Shego. Set post-Odds Man In, but doesn’t rule out the following episodes. General/humor/drama/friendship/romance.
1. Prologue: Burning Beans

**Happy Hill of Beans**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary: **A little tale about confidence. Set post-_Odds Man In, _but doesn't rule out the following episodes. Drakken/Shego. General/humor/drama/friendship/romance.

* * *

**Prologue****: Burning Beans**

* * *

"I really don't see why we can't just use the gym at the lair." Drakken grumbled. "This is embarrassing."

"Exactly." Shego said forcefully, striding towards the tread mills with determination. "We're using a public gym _because_ it's embarrassing for you. It'll give you more incentive to lose that weight when you care what people think about you. That way you won't get all lazy and indifferent like you got when you were shovelling down cupcakes for weeks at home alone." She added, giving him a meaningful glance over her shoulder.

Drakken groaned. She was making a lot of sense, darn her. A harsh and unforgiving kind of sense, but nevertheless a lot of sense.

He squirmed and grimaced as he took in the rows of training equipment and saw the critical looks the members of the gym gave him as he and Shego passed by.

Shego had assured him that it was a private gym where none of the other members had a clean permanent record, either, and wouldn't ask any questions...but Drakken felt that this didn't make things any less humiliating. Working on getting rid of the results of his recent overeating in front of a bunch of potentially dangerous strangers wasn't exactly his idea of a good time.

Catching sight of himself in one of the many mirrors, he made another face. Surely the gym at the lair didn't have _this_ many mirrors…!

He'd never wanted to come here in the first place, but after Shego had given him calculating, judging looks for a week, and when she'd finally made a particularly sly remark one morning— 'So, who's the father?' She'd asked dryly, poking his swollen belly with a sharp finger— he'd finally broken down and had accepted her offer— or order— to join her at the gym.

Also, she'd had a point when she'd reminded him that it would be hard for him to be Dr. Drakken, Evil Genius when he couldn't even fit into his lab coats anymore. She'd seemed to make a lot of good points lately, really. Why did she have to have such an annoying tendency to be so darn...reasonable?

On the less reasonable side, however, she'd said he was making her look ridiculous by association and would ruin her reputation as a villainess, attaching to the comment a very unsubtle threat that she might take up calling him 'Blueberry Belly' if he didn't pull himself together.

So...yes, she'd given him plenty of 'incentive' already that week, yet she seemed to think he needed more. The woman was merciless, was what she was.

Still grimacing, Drakken twisted and turned in front of the mirrors, and a dozen Drakkens complete with brand new spare tires grimaced back at him—

There was a loud sigh behind him. "Are you gonna stand there and admire your gut all day or are we gonna get on the tread mill?"

Somewhat self-consciously, Drakken let his hands drop from his stomach and glared at Shego. "Nag, nag, nag..." He muttered as he trailed after her.

Shego was glad her back was turned so he couldn't see the soft grin she was struggling to keep down at his grumpy comment. She had to appear tough if she was going to make him take this seriously. It was a little difficult sometimes, though; he had a tendency to be involuntarily funny.

Drakken dumped his towel and water bottle in the little space for them in the front of the tread mill and started choosing his program, punching in the difficulty level.

There was a delicate cough from beside him, and at Shego's pointed look, he sighed and increased the difficulty level by a couple more points. "So, no soft start, huh?" He remarked sarcastically as they started jogging.

"I just think you can do better, that's all," Shego replied, and it took him a moment to realize that she actually wasn't mocking. She was just stating a fact. He glanced at her in surprise, but she was busy jogging and wasn't looking at him.

A minute later, he reached out and increased the level by another point. He felt awkward running in the public gym, especially what with his recently acquired extra padding jiggling slightly in a humiliating way as he moved, but at least he wasn't alone. Gritting his teeth, he picked up the pace.

Twenty minutes later, Shego stepped gracefully off of the tread mill, dabbing at the fine sheen of sweat on her forehead with her small, light green towel...and Drakken got off of the machine as well, but stood hunched over, panting, his now purplish face practically dripping with sweat.

Okay...okay, so maybe he shouldn't have increased the level of difficulty that third time. Bad, bad, _bad_ idea….

When Shego threw him his towel, smirking faintly, he realized that he'd actually been doing something as silly as trying to_ impress_ her. That was odd; sure, he loved to gloat to everyone and their mother about his plans, but he'd never tried to prove his fortitude when it came to anything physical. That was just so...so high school. _Beneath_ him.

Except now...even _he_ fell victim to attacks of juvenile macho-itis _sometimes_, it seemed.

Well, he thought, straightening up and wiping his face, feeling self-conscious again, it was no wonder he felt the need to prove himself when she'd mocked-- oh, wait, she hadn't, not this time. Crap. It was easy to forget when he was so used to her doing it. It had to be because she'd taunted him about his appearance earlier that week, then.

Drakken wasn't used to being insecure about his looks, because he'd never really cared much about them, even as a teenager— he knew he was different now, but the blue skin usually inspired fear, not ridicule, and if you squinted, fear looked an awful lot like respect— so he'd been easy to tease now that he _was_ insecure. He'd never been overweight before— probably more like underweight, when he was younger— and that combined with the fact that Shego was exceptionally good at mocking, meant that he'd been easy for her to bend to her will.

But now he'd showed _her_, right?

Or...wait...hadn't he just done exactly what she'd wanted him to do?

_Nnnn__rrrghh_! This was getting confusing. And it didn't help that, niggling at the back of his head, there was the thought that perhaps he'd done it because she'd been so sincere for once. She almost never told him things that showed that she had any confidence in him, almost never...

"Not bad for a Blueberry Belly," Shego said, smiling crookedly as she tossed him the water bottle as well, "but next time, maybe you should take it a little easier. No need to pull a tendon there, Doc."

Scowling at her, he took a long drink of water. Wiping his face with the towel again and tossing it across his shoulder, he was about to scold her for her rudeness when he heard someone growl behind him.

Slowly, Drakken turned around, and discovered that the other end of his damp, sweat-soaked towel had slapped somebody straight across their face. Somebody who, judging by the way they were tearing the towel away and throwing it to the floor, didn't appreciate it.

"Um, it was an accident," Drakken explained as a throbbing vein appeared on the other man's forehead.

The man didn't seem to be in a listening mood, though, as he grabbed Drakken's T-shirt.

"Hey! I _said_ it was just an accident!" Drakken barked, suddenly getting angry. "I'm Dr. Drakken! You can't do that to me!"

"I don't care if you're the pope," the man scoffed, before he shoved Drakken into a column, hard, and he fell to the floor, overturning a waste basket and scattering its contents. "Keep your stinky towels and your ugly mug away from me."

Looking self-content, the man dusted himself off and turned around...and caught sight of Shego, his smug look becoming immediately appreciative.

Shego peered at the man with distaste, taking inventory. A big guy, taller than Dr. D, but not as buff as the other men in the gym...wearing a muscle shirt, outdated, baggy pants, sneakers that looked like he'd borrowed them from Bigfoot, and to top it off, a glaringly pink sweatband wrapped around a cheesy crew cut. Who _was_ this guy? Or more like...who the heck did he _think_ he was?

"Well, hi there. I'm Tony." The guy said with a hint of swagger and a leering grin. "Tony Braggadocio."

Shego didn't introduce herself back. She only looked down at her boss before dragging a hand across her face in aggravation. "Dr. D...you're pathetic."

Drakken returned her look with a poisonous glare, rubbing his side.

Tony's grin widened as he saw his chance. "That he is." He commented smoothly. "So how about you ditch this loser and keep me company instead right after I've finished teaching him a lesson?"

Without even waiting for an answer, Tony pulled back his fist and—

—instead of meeting a blue jaw, the fist slapped against a firm, green hand, holding it in place.

"Yeah, me keeping _you_ company?" Shego said, like it was a casual observation about the weather. "Never gonna happen."

Tony opened his mouth to object, but never got a single syllable out.

"And this?" She went on, gesturing between the man's fist and Drakken's face. "_Also_ never gonna happen."

Tony's eyes narrowed. "Hey, who do you think you—"

There was an audible crack as Shego increased the pressure on the man's hand, who made a choked little sound of surprise in the back of his throat.

Shego's other hand flared up, casting her face in a flickering, green light. "Who do _you _think I am?" She purred coldly, meeting his stunned gaze.

When he didn't answer, she let go and dropped him ungracefully on his ass with a thump. She barely had to push him at all; his knees had already given out from the shock.

"Come on, Doc." Shego said briskly, pulling him up from the floor by his hand and pushing him gently but firmly towards the other end of the gym, where the row of stationary bikes stood. "It's time to burn some more fat."

Drakken sighed, but padded reluctantly towards the bikes. Other men might have felt humiliated to be saved by a woman, but Drakken was used to it, and it had never bothered him much in any case. If he'd had gender issues, he wouldn't have hired a woman as his sidekick in the first place. It was just what Shego did, and he'd never enjoyed fighting. He was the brains, not the brawn, and had no desire to fight.

_Still_, he thought, his expression darkening a little, _she didn't have to go and call me __**pathetic**__, did she?_

Shego glanced at Drakken before turning back to the man. "You know..." She began, her voice dropping in volume as she leaned down into his face. "We're not even dating, he's just my boss— but even despite that, and even with the dozens of cupcakes' worth of fat currently lining his middle...he's still more than _twice_ the man _you_ are." She hissed, surprising herself. "Not that it would take a whole lot to be a better man than _you_," she added, snorting. "but still...back _off_, okay?"

Tony could only nod, completely flabbergasted.

Shaking her head as if to shake off the unexpected anger, she stopped to splash some water in her face from the sink on her way towards the bikes. As she dried her face with her towel, she let out a deep breath. Where the hell did _that_ come from?

It did make some sense, though; she had a reputation to keep up! That was why she was even at the gym at all— she couldn't have people thinking she was working for some kind of fat loser!

People often got a bad impression of Dr. D— dorky, awkward, whiny, egotistical, nuts and bad-tempered were only a few of the adjectives normally used to describe him— but there was a lot more to her boss, otherwise of course she would never have bothered to work with him! Didn't people _get_ that?

Still, the idiot she'd just taken care of was just some insignificant nobody, and she shouldn't have cared less what he thought, so why had it bothered her?

_Gah._

Rolling her eyes, she told herself to ignore it, and walked towards Drakken.

When she saw what he was doing, another eye roll was inevitable.

"Oh, come on, Dr. D— the bikes are _not_ that hard to figure out." She said impatiently, flapping a hand at his unsure attempts to set the program. "Aren't you supposed to be the big scientist here?"

"Give me a break, Shego!" Drakken complained, trying to elbow her away. "They're different from the ones we have at the lair, okay?"

Shego persisted, elbowing him back. "Here, I'll adjust it for you so we can get started—"

"No, I've almost got it— just let me— there, see? I did it!" He declared victoriously as there was a beep, indicating that the bike's program had started. "You don't always have to butt in, you know," he added, casting her a reproachful glance before he straddled the bike and started treading on the pedals.

Shego eyes widened at that; then they narrowed into offended slits. _Well, excuse __**me**__...! _She thought irritably as she adjusted the seat on the bike next to his and started her program. Staring stiffly straight ahead, she pedalled a little harder than what was strictly necessary. _Here I just kept him from having his face remodelled by some gym gorilla, and all he can do is tell me not to 'butt in'? It's not as if I'm even on the clock, I did that on my own time, and he can't even—_

Her pedalling slowed down.

Why hadn't he simply defended _himself_? It had just been some jock jerk, not a world-saving teen hero vigilante versed in several kinds of kung fu, so what was the problem?

And why had she stepped in so quickly?

It had become a habit, that's what. It wasn't the first time she'd protected him from someone he might have actually managed to handle by himself. It was a bad habit. Yes, she was his sidekick, his fighter, his ninja bodyguard...but there was a limit to when and where she was supposed to do her job.

And sometimes, even when on the job, if they were outnumbered or if she was otherwise incapacitated, she wasn't always able to protect him, and it was a strain on her concentration to have to worry about him and his machines when she had to focus on fighting.

Like that time in Vegas three years ago! Okay, so it _had_ turned out that she _could_ handle Dementor's henchmen on her own, but when she'd been uncertain and had asked him if he'd be able to back her up, he'd just wimped out, not even offering to _try _to help her!

It's not as if she couldn't take care of herself…but it would have been nice to know she could at least have the _option_ of asking for backup!

Shego let her pedalling even out and then absentmindedly picked up the pace again.

Maybe...maybe it was time to make some changes.

Glancing sideways at Drakken, Shego was slightly surprised to see him pedalling furiously, wearing the grim, tenacious expression he usually wore when, during the execution of a plan, he was met with resistance but was certain he was still going to win.

Shego took a quick drink of water from her bottle in a preoccupied kind of way before she let her pedalling match his.

That tenacity was definitely worth something.

She might be able to use that.

Maybe.

After Shego had gotten him started, taking him to the gym a couple more times, she left him on his own. To her relief, he didn't have a relapse and didn't start stuffing his face with cupcakes again— not that he could have since she'd convinced him to give the cupcakes to the remaining henchmen to boost their morale so they wouldn't quit as well-- or other kinds of junk food.

Three weeks later, Drakken was back to his normal weight, and Shego was actually beginning to consider her idea more seriously.

_**TBC.**_

* * *

**Author's note:** Is it likely that Shego whipped Drakken back into shape after his cupcake binging? Considering her reaction to his weight gain, I'd say yes. Besides, who else was supposed to make him stop eating? XD Considering how his mom likes to practically force feed him, I'd rule her out.

**EDIT (24.08.08):** Added this sentence: "Not that it would take a whole lot to be a better man than _you_," she added, snorting, "but still...back _off_, okay?" It just seemed more IC for Shego.

This prologue is dedicated to **Marvolo Cassius AKA Lon Wolfgood**, who helped me decide exactly _when_ in season four the story took place...which inspired me to write this prologue and made the rest of the story, which I'd mostly written already, seem a lot more logical to me. You unstuck my failing inspiration. Thanks, ass face. Also, thanks for the last advice you gave me before I published.

A big thanks once again to **Charlotte C**, who's agreed to be my beta for yet another story. Thank you for the funny comments, and thank you for giving me a heads up about my tendency to write endless sentences. I know I never seem to be able to resist those, and they can be murder on the syntax. I've been aware of the problem for about a decade, and now I'm finally making a proper, active attempt to remedy it. Thanks.

* * *


	2. One Bean

**Happy Hill of Beans**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary: **A little tale about confidence. Set post-_Odds Man In, _but doesn't rule out the following episodes. Drakken/Shego. General/humor/drama/friendship/romance.

* * *

**One Bean**

* * *

Dr. Drakken was furious...and as usual, Shego was the one who had to be his audience.

The doomsday device he'd ordered had just been delivered to his Caribbean lair, and he'd been all fired up about being able to gloat to Shego about it, but the contents of the large wooden crate had turned out to be a little..._different_ than he'd anticipated.

"_Some assembly required_?" Drakken bellowed, throwing his wrench to the floor in frustration and outrage. "This isn't '_some assembly required'_! This is more like '_a whole__** lot**__ of assembly required, not even two pieces stuck together_ already'! This should be labelled '_you'll be up for __**days**__ putting __**this**__ puppy together'_! And it should…Shego?" Drakken blinked at his sidekick as his rant came to a halt.

She seemed to be staring at him in a contemplative way, taking actual, curious interest in him instead of burying her nose in a magazine or something. As usual, though, it was obvious that she wasn't actually _listening_ to him.

"What?" He demanded irritably. "Do I have something on my face?"

"Dr. D, you're a pretty big guy— I mean, you're definitely no Conrad the Barbarian, but you're no sparrow, either, so…why can't you fight?" She asked, tilting her head at him.

Thrown slightly off kilter by the unexpected comment, Drakken could only frown at her. "Huh?"

"I mean, I've seen you in sissy slap fights with Kim Possible's sidekick, even!" She threw her hands up. "Just last week, he—"

"Let's..._not_ talk about last week, all right?" Drakken interrupted her tightly, a stiff and uncomfortable grin on his face.

Shego scoffed. "Whatever— anyway, that's pretty embarrassing for someone who's supposed to be so evil, right?"

He winced. "I've never enjoyed fighting, you know that. I don't like pain, Shego."

"And do you think I _enjoy_ having my butt kicked? Dr. D, nobody actually _likes_ pain—" She paused, reconsidering. "Well, unless of course you count masochists..." She mumbled absentmindedly, ever the realist.

Drakken rolled his eyes at his sidekick getting sidetracked. "What's your _point_, Shego?"

Shego drew a long breath and exhaled it slowly, looking like she was mulling something over. "My point _is..._that I think...I think I want to teach you."

He blinked. "What?"

"Well, you could certainly _use_ it." Her tone was matter-of-fact.

"Wait a minute! Are you trying to make me do _your_ job as well so you can slack off even more?" He demanded, hands settling sternly on his hips. "Do I have to do _everything_ around here?"

Shego shot him an offended look; he had a real knack for making her feel underappreciated as a sidekick sometimes.

"Shyeah, _right_— and now suddenly my job is nothing but fending off teenage brats?" She asked sharply. "I do a lot more than that! See how well you do without me stealing for you or spying for you or being your assistant or—" She cut herself off, glaring. "I wasn't asking you to fight _instead_ of me, anyway, I was just telling you to do something so you won't be so helpless the next time Possible manages to get past me, you know?" She explained, trying to sound reasonable. "See, I'm not telling you to go all Kung Fu— not that you even _could_— I just want you to learn the basics so you can at least have a small chance at defending yourself— _and_ the next lame doomsday device!"

Drakken peered at her reproachfully as he tried to keep from pouting. Okay, sure— so maybe he wasn't Brad Lee, but there was no need to call him _helpless_, was there?

"Besides, Kimmie's sidekick can barely fight at all. If _both_ of _us_ could, we'd _clearly_ have them at a disadvantage." She coaxed, looking at him expectantly. When he didn't reply, she sighed with impatience. "_Right_, Dr. D?"

"Well..." Drakken began, reluctant. "I suppose I could...polish my moves a little."

Shego gave him a weird look, not sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. She shook her head. "Fine— fine, 'polishing your moves', 'Basic Fighting For Dummies'— call it what you want as long as you do it."

Grumbling, Drakken relented. "Whatever, just...no freaky, glowing hands, okay?"

Shego pursed her lips and scowled at the comment; he probably didn't even realize that it sounded like an insult, the goof. "Didn't your accident give _you_ any special powers?"

"Twenty-twenty vision!" He told her, sounding proud.

Shego cleared her throat meaningfully. "Aaand...having _normal eyesight_ is a special power...since _when_, exactly?"

"Hey, _I_ thought it was cool!" Drakken exclaimed, trying to rationalize himself. "I don't have to wear glasses anymore!"

When she just stared him down, telling him without words how much of a dork he was being, he cleared his throat irritably.

"Fine!" He gave an exaggerated sigh. "How about high endurance for physical punishment?"

Her smirk widened in a way that was quite unsettling. "That'll do_ nicely_."

He scowled. "I hope you're not expecting to actually get _paid _for this."

"You're not gonna _pay_ me?" Shego goggled at him. "I'm doing you a _favour _here, you know!"

"This was all _your_ idea!" Drakken accused. "In fact, maybe _you_ should be paying _me_!" He added, puffing up his chest indignantly. "I feel like I'll be a guinea pig for your evil teaching methods!"

She opened her mouth to retort, provoked by his blatant arrogance, but changed her mind at the last second. She'd been bored lately, and this whole thing might prove to be interesting...or in the very least a welcome change from their humdrum routine of plan-prepare-try to execute-get foiled. Maybe they could finally mix things up a bit.

A dry chuckle escaped her. "All right, Doc. The joy of teaching will be _my_ reward."

Drakken gulped. That had been _far_ too easy.

* * *

The next day, Shego was already waiting for him when Drakken popped his head in the door of the henchmen's training room, which had been deserted for the occasion.

Drakken looked Shego over as he reluctantly stepped into the room. Like she'd instructed him to wear, she herself was also wearing sweats designed to move freely in, though hers, consisting of a sleeveless, green shirt and black bottoms, were certainly a lot more...form-fitting than his.

Shego, who had been busy tying her hair up in a ponytail, looked up when she heard him approach. When she saw his black T-shirt and grey sweat pants, she gave a small, approving nod and motioned for him to join her in the center of the room, on the training mat.

Drakken grimaced a little; training mats always gave him unpleasant flashbacks to gym classes in school.

"Okay, Dr. D," Shego said loudly, suddenly all business, "first I wanna see whatcha got, see what we have to work on."

He looked at her uncertainly. "Um, okay?"

She fished around for inspiration until an idea struck her. "Okay, now let's pretend I'm Kimmie. I know it's gonna be a long stretch of the imagination," she smirked, tossing her long, black hair and tilting her hip, "but just try, all right?"

Drakken sighed. "All right."

"All right, so I'm Kimmie, and I'm coming at you like this," she said, starting to charge at the Doc, "now what do you do? Think fast!"

Drakken's eyes widened as Shego closed in on him, attacking.

Shego stopped and stared at her boss, her fist halting in mid-air.

"No, Dr. D." She said, her tone deadpan. "When our arch foe charges at us, we do _not_ squeal like a little girl and start flailing our arms at her ineffectively."

"It was just a reflex reaction!" He snapped defensively.

One eyebrow arched. "Oh, really?"

He looked at her with apprehensiveness, fidgeting. "Are you s_ure_ you're not accidentally going to use those freaky, glowing hands?"

How nice; the 'freaky, glowing hands' comment again. Shego was _not_ amused. "Unlike you, I _have_ control over my body."

"Hmmpph!" Drakken pouted, still embarrassed over his earlier, less than manly reaction.

"Besides, Possible and her sidekick don't _have_ 'freaky, glowing hands', so get a grip, okay?" She reminded him, impatient.

Drakken brightened a little. "That's right, they don't, do they?"

Shego rolled her eyes. "Okay, let's try again."

Again, she charged.

...and again, he squealed and flailed.

"Great,"she said, groaning_, _"looks like we have a _lot_ of ground to cover."

Oh well, she sighed, at least he was already in good shape, so she didn't have to start _completely_ from scratch.

Still...it wouldn't be easy.

* * *

She had some experience in training people like this already.

However, teaching Drakken and teaching Señor Senior Junior were two very different things.

About the only thing they had in common was that they were both pretty big guys who were strangely squeamish for their size.

For one thing, Dr. D only needed to learn how to_ fight_.

Junior, on the other hand, had needed to learn _everything_. He'd known about as much about being a villain as the average kid watching The Fearless Ferret did.

Junior had been a clean slate, and as such, easy to mold in her own image, even if his ignorance had been very exasperating at first. Outside of the initial, mandatory, whiny objections she'd expected from a rich, spoiled young man like him, he'd shut up and listened. You only had to get his attention first.

Drakken…Drakken was a bit more complicated than that.

He was _anything_ but a clean slate. For one thing, he was much older than Junior, and very experienced in villainy— and not only that, she wasn't a stranger to him, so she didn't have that edge she'd had with Junior; where he didn't quite know what to make of her, didn't quite know what she'd do next.

Dr. D knew her, he knew how to talk to her, and he offered a lot of resistance. Despite the fact that he, like Junior, was slightly afraid of her plasma powers and strength, Dr. D was a much stronger personality than Junior and wouldn't just do whatever she told him to do without any protests— even faced with the eventual, possible threat of punishment.

Junior hadn't had the ability to rant until she was mentally as well as almost physically exhausted, either.

"Let me guess," Drakken said dryly as he picked himself up from the mat for the tenth time in half an hour, "you're trying to do that thing that the drill sergeants in those cheesy army movies do, aren't you? Tear me down and build me up?"

"Why not?" Shego shrugged. "I don't mess with the classics."

Drakken gave her a long, skeptical look, rubbing his bruised arm. "So, when does the actual building up part of it start?" He asked sarcastically.

"It'd come faster if you didn't keep opposing me at every turn," she remarked. "You don't take very well to being given directions, do you know that?"

"Oh, really?" He scoffed. "Welcome to my side of things, Shego."

"Yeah…whining?" She drawled. "Unlike you, I don't do it."

He sighed, wiping the sweat off of his brow. "I wish we could just do one of those training montages instead, like in Bricks of Fury."

She laughed. "Oh, just you wait. Time will _fly_ by once we get to the fun part."

He grimaced. "You expect me to believe there's a _fun_ part?"

Shego repressed a chuckle; she'd had a lot of fun already. While she'd never want to take a job as a teacher at an ordinary school now, like her education enabled her to do— well, before she became a wanted criminal, anyway— she could really get used to this…_evil_ teaching.

"It'll come," she said breezily. "Now let's go through that series of punches and kicks I showed you yesterday. You remember, right?"

"How could I forget? We did it more than two dozen times, Shego!" He complained.

"No lip from you," She scolded. "Let's go."

"Great." He said, managing to get quite an impressive amount of irony into a single syllable.

They began.

"…no, don't kick like _that_, kick like_ this_! No, don't lead with your shoulder! And I told you to put some _weight_ behind those punches!"

"Argh!"

* * *

Weeks of being what felt like Shego's personal punching bag— and not just figuratively speaking this time— had made Drakken bitter and self-pitying.

Which was why, when Shego swung by the kitchen one Friday evening, she found her employer gorging himself on chocolate milk and three kinds of donuts.

When she laid eyes on him, he froze in the classic deer-in-headlights manner, powdered sugar and multi-colored sprinkles tumbling down his chin.

The curse words that went through Drakken's mind right then would've shocked his mother.

He swallowed the mouthful of donut and glared at her, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Shego, what are _you_ doing here? I thought you'd gone home!"

"I forgot my cell phone!" She snapped, snatching up the green and black device from the kitchen counter.

He groaned; he hadn't even noticed that lying there. "Fine, just get it and go, then."

"Dr. D!" She reprimanded. "What are you— are you _seriously_ sulking and stuffing your face with fatty comfort food?"

"No," Drakken mumbled in a defiant, mopey tone.

"Are you sitting here feeling _sorry_ for yourself?" She ripped the box of Granny Crocket's Frontier Donuts— ugh, Granny Crocket; yet another job foiled by the redheaded teen— from his powdered sugar-covered fingers. "Jeez, look at yourself! You really _are_ pathetic!"

"This is just hopeless, Shego!" Drakken wailed, self-consciously brushing donut crumbs from his sweater. "I'm sick of it! I'm bruised and tired and you keep saying mean and discouraging things!"

"What are _you_ being all emo for? What are you gonna do, write self-pitying haikus about how 'mean' I am while you binge?" Shego mocked sharply, getting seriously fed up— and she was, which she didn't like to acknowledge even to herself, starting to feel a little disappointed and slightly hurt that he wasn't taking this more seriously, that he was failing again when she'd just begun to see some actual potential. "You're a villain, Drakken, you're supposed to be able to _handle_ those kinds of things!"

"I don't see why I can't just construct a super suit or robot armour or something to defend myself with!" Drakken blurted defiantly. "I don't _have _to be able to fight, I have my _brains_!"

"Oh, yeah? What about situations where you're _not_ _wearing_ that armour? What if somebody comes and attacks you while you're in your jammies, hmm?" She challenged, hand on her hip.

"Shego!" He chided, shuddering a little. "Why did you have to _say_ that? How will I be able to sleep tonight?"

Shego nearly snarled when she heard the wimpy remark. "Ugh, Dr. D! It's _so _obvious that you need this training!"

He snatched the box of donuts back, scowling at her like a wounded child, righteous anger igniting within his eyes. "Well, you're a _lousy_ motivator! Do you _know_ that?"

Shego faltered a little at the comment, wondering if he was right, if she was being _too_ strict— but then she shook it off, deciding that she _had_ to intervene. It would only be for his own good. She grabbed at the donut box, and they had a lame little tug of war, back and forth, before she pulled at the box, hard, and he lost his grip.

"That's it!" She exclaimed, chucking the box of donuts into the trash. "Looks like I'm gonna have to stick around and watch you! You have no self-control!"

Drakken was about to yell a comeback when the implications of what she'd just said suddenly occurred to him. "You mean...you're _staying_ for the _weekend_?" He asked, blinking.

Shego grunted with exasperation. "Well, _somebody_ has to be here and make sure you don't end up looking like Violet Beauregarde come Monday." She said firmly, poking his stomach. "We don't want a repeat of the Hank's Gourmet Cupcakes fiasco, now do we, Blueberry Belly?"

Drakken frowned at the jab, but his mind was elsewhere. She'd never stayed for the weekend before, and he was slowly coming to understand that this whole thing might be a lot more important to her than what she'd let on. For a moment, he wondered if she'd really missed being an evil teacher. So far, he'd sort of suspected she was doing this— without pay, no less!— mainly because she loved to torture him, but now he was starting to doubt it.

She didn't just seem annoyed, he realized now, she seemed…let down.

About two years ago, she'd worked for the Seniors for a while during a period where he'd been too busy working on a particularly complicated scheme, and when she'd returned to her job as his sidekick, she'd been in an unusually good mood despite the fact that Kim Possible had foiled her and her student…um, what's-his-face, Señor Senior's son. She hadn't told Drakken all that much about it, but it had been obvious to him that she'd really drawn job satisfaction from her evil tutoring. Until now, though, he hadn't really considered it again.

When he said nothing, Shego whirled around on her heel, heading for her room to drop off her overnight bag.

Drakken stared at her for a second or two before he took off after her at a jog. "Um, Shego?" He began when he caught up with her. "I was just about to make some dinner, actually."

She glanced back at him, frowning. "After all those _donuts_?"

Drakken grunted, but ignored the comment. "Are you hungry or not?" He asked impatiently.

Shego halted in her brisk walk and looked at him, slightly perplexed. "Starving," she finally admitted, and he grinned.

"Dinner will be ready in forty-five minutes," he declared before whisking off back to the kitchen.

She watched him go, somewhat confused at his sudden mood change. Then she shrugged and continued on towards her room.

* * *

This was far from the first time they'd had dinner together. After living together for almost four years, having dinner together once in a while was sort of unavoidable.

It was just that..._usually_, 'having dinner together' simply meant that they ate at around the same time and in the same room.

'Dinnertime at Dr. Drakken's Lair' would often entail Drakken eating things like grilled cheese sandwiches or whatever he'd found in the fridge that day, from a plate on his work bench in a preoccupied mad scientist kind of way, while he doodled plans in his notebooks, assembled components for some weapon or doomsday device or worked on a new formula...usually while Shego lay sprawled on the couch on the other side of the room eating some variety of Asian take-out straight from the carton with chopsticks, or maybe a large salad of some kind, while watching TV.

Sometimes, if Shego was out late on a mission and didn't have the time or energy to get herself any dinner, Drakken would order a big take-out dinner for them, or cook dinner for them both instead of only for himself, but even then they just sat casually in front of the large monitor in the lab and watched TV while they ate.

They'd never really sat down for dinner at the kitchen table before, like for a proper meal. It felt...slightly formal somehow, like a special occasion.

When Drakken ushered her into the kitchen and she caught sight of the meal he'd cooked, Shego's eyebrows shot up. "Well, now, that's actually a little healthy. I was getting worried about what dinner might be after watching you scarf down all that junk food."

Drakken smiled; her words were as cynical as ever, but he knew her well enough to know that she was in fact a little impressed. "Bon apetit," he said with a flourish.

"Don't mind if I do," Shego said, pulling back a chair and sitting down at the table.

Drakken followed suite and starting serving her grilled chicken, rice and salad before filling his own plate.

When he was done, Shego gave him a wry smile.

"What?" He asked, looking up curiously from his plate, his fork halfway to his face as he was about to dig in to his food.

"You actually _served_ me my food?" Shego snickered briefly. "Just...I didn't think you could be...considerate."

Drakken frowned, and his voice was kind of haughty when he spoke. "Well, maybe I'd be considerate more often if you gave me reason to."

"Meaning?"

"Less lip, more enthusiasm."

Shego sighed, not wanting to ruin the dinner. "Just pass me the chilli sauce, will you?"

"Here," Drakken handed her the condiment, along with a slightly sulky look.

They began to eat.

"You like it?" He asked eventually, sounding hopeful.

"Mmphh," Shego grunted around a mouthful of rice and chicken.

Drakken grinned. "I'll take that as a yes."

Shego swallowed the food and grinned back. "So...what do you do here when I'm gone for the weekends, anyway?" She began somewhat mischievously, pointing at him with her fork. "Eat cheese doodles in your underwear while watching reruns of _Agony County_?"

Drakken sniffed in annoyance. That had hit a little too close to home— well, not the parts about the cheese doodles (it was usually popcorn or candy bars) and the underwear (it was his pajamas), but still. "That's funny," he replied snidely, "because I always pictured _you_ painting your toenails with one hand and digging into a bucket of rocky road with the other while watching _The Vain and The Useless _in your robe_."_

Shego felt a little peeved; she'd only meant her comment as a casual joke, but he'd obviously taken it personally, and now he'd ruined the whole mood. His guess had been eerily correct, too— well, except for the parts about _The Vain and The Useless _(it was _The Klieg Report_) and the rocky road (it was pistachio). Still, she managed to keep her cool. "Oh, _did_ you now?"

For once, Drakken matched her calm composure. "Indeed."

They stared each other down for a moment, much like they'd done at times while sparring.

Finally, Shego broke the silence. "I go on _dates_," she informed him, unable to keep the small trace of smugness out of her voice. "I'm guessing the only dating _you_ do on your weekends is _online_."

Drakken's eyes narrowed. That...had stung a little. "And where _do_ you find your dates? Do they cross human and gorilla DNA and raise the hybrids in a sandy pit at the beach?"

Shego chewed at the inside of her cheek in irritation, glaring right back at him. Now that was just...mean.

There was a prolonged silence, and for a second, it almost felt like one of them, never mind who, would grab the other's shirt and drag them across the table for a good old-fashioned bar room brawl, forgetting all about Kung Fu-esque training.

In the end, Shego gave a little snort of laughter, not even sure why, and Drakken's mouth twitched before he chuckled as well.

"Um...more salad?" Drakken held the bowl out to her.

"Sure," Shego nodded, her voice unsteady with mirth.

The rest of the meal went by in relative silence, broken only by the occasional clink of cutlery or small talk-like comment.

When dinner was over, Shego retreated to her room, and Drakken had to admit he felt relieved. Usually, he might feel a little lonely when she wasn't around, but after spending the entire week training with her, having some time to himself was definitely welcome, and he suspected she felt the same way.

_**TBC.**_

* * *

**Author's note:** Put down the donuts and step away from the box. I have a potato gun.

Thanks again to my generous and lovely beta **Charlotte C**. I always enjoy your comments.

**Conrad the Barbarian:** Obviously a lame parody I made up of Conan the Barbarian.

**Brad Lee****: **Bruce Lee parody, of course, and...ZOMG: Brad Lee...Bradley. Stan Lee...Stanley. OMGZOMG I ARE TEH FUNNI.

**Granny Crocket's Frontier Donuts:** I'm assuming the Granny Crocket factory makes more than chocolate chip cookies, considering they had huge containers of multi-colored sprinkles etc. there in _Two to Tutor_.

_The Vain and The Useless_ is a parody of _The Bold and The Beautiful_ from the _Beetlejuice_ cartoon.

* * *


	3. Two Beans

**Happy Hill of Beans**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary: **A little tale about confidence. Set post-_Odds Man In, _but doesn't rule out the following episodes. Drakken/Shego. General/humor/drama/friendship/romance.

* * *

**Two Beans**

* * *

That weekend, he'd expected her to perhaps stay in her room all the time when they weren't training or having meals, but after Friday, she didn't.

It was strange having Shego around for the weekend. Usually, the lair would be completely deserted of a Saturday, except for maybe the occasional henchman or cleaning crew member scurrying across his path.

She'd gone out somewhere for breakfast, and he'd enjoyed the quiet time to himself in the lair as he'd had his own breakfast. When she'd returned, she'd gone to her room, but she'd re-emerged about an hour later and had wordlessly joined him on the couch. Now they were relaxing in what passed for a living room in the lair, Shego reading and Drakken channel surfing.

After a few minutes of doing a pointless, boring search for anything worthwhile to watch, Drakken glanced at Shego to see what she was reading.

He'd noted earlier that it was a book instead of her usual magazines, and now he was getting curious. Tilting his head, he tried to see the title. "What's that, Shego?"

Instead of speaking, she only held up the front page for him to see as she kept reading. The title was '_Cognitive Development of Children and Youth'_.

Drakken sent her a sour look. "I hope that doesn't have anything to do with _you_ teaching _me_."

"Gee, Doc, and here _I_ was gonna make a joke about that, but now you've gone and ruined the punch line." She whined sarcastically with a fake pout.

"Very funny," Drakken grumbled. "Why are you reading this, anyway? It's a little heavier than _'10 Steps To Perfect Nail Care'_, isn't it?" He remarked, grinning over the fact that he'd thought of a way to tease her.

"What, I can't have layers?" She shot back, tilting her chin up.

He raised his brow. "Seriously, why the book?"

Shifting slightly in her seat, she gave him what almost _looked_ like a shy glance, but _had_ to be an optical illusion since she was Shego. "I dunno," she shrugged, "just brushing up on my old studies, I guess. I'd forgotten all about them."

Drakken stared; it looked like he'd guessed correctly. She really did seem to have missed teaching. For a second, he tensed with sudden anxiety: "Don't tell me you're planning on quitting evil in favour of a career in education?"

Shego stared right back at him before she gave a disgusted snort. "Yeesh, no way— do you have _any_ idea what teachers get paid? _Nooot_ exactly a profession where you can go off on unplanned vacations either, ya know. And I'm a convicted felon, Dr. D, remember? Who's gonna hire me?"

"But—"

"You know why I became a villain?" Shego continued, apparently slipping into an uncharacteristic mood to rant about herself. "It wasn't just because I hated being a hero and hated staying at Go Tower— it was because I found there's a huge difference between theory and practice when it comes to the studies I chose. I had no patience to teach a bunch of brats, and I think my idea of teaching was a little too..._rough_ for the board of education." She scoffed. "They expected me to handle a bunch of whiny little kids with...well, kid gloves, and that's just not my style. I'd much rather teach adults. They can deal with my teaching methods— especially _evil_ adults. And hey," she added, sending him a look that suggested she should be peering at him over half moon spectacles, "would you say I'm a _positive role model_?"

Drakken cleared his throat quickly; he'd almost choked at the pure absurdity of the question.

Shego smirked. "Exactly."

"So, why are you...?" Drakken asked, waving a hand vaguely at her book.

"Just because I don't wanna be a regular teacher doesn't mean I can't still find the literature fascinating, does it?" She challenged, shrugging.

Once again, Drakken saw a rare opportunity to mock, and went for it. "Oh, really? You're sure you're not planning on raising a few kids of your own one day, huh?"

Shego was quiet for a beat or two, looking at him with a kind of reproachful disbelief. She let the look sink firmly in to show him just how far-fetched his mocking was before she spoke again, her nose wrinkling with distaste. "You know, Dr. D...if that was part of an evil plan to make me _lose my_ _appetite_ so you could have dinner all to yourself, then it worked."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be hungry again once you see what _I've _got cooking tonight," Drakken grinned, preening a little.

Shego rolled her eyes. "Gosh, don't tell me, it'll spoil the fabulous surprise— the highlight of my entire weekend."

Drakken sent her a pouty scowl. "Sourpuss."

There was silence for a moment as Shego returned to her reading and Drakken flipped from channel to channel.

Then Shego drew a deep breath, still looking down at her book. "Well, you know, besides— who'd want a villainess to be the mother of their children, anyway, huh? Not exactly a kiddie friendly environment, is it? So thankfully, I'm thinking I'm not gonna be having any suitors pounding down the door anytime soon to propose and make tiny, green babies." She grimaced, sticking out her tongue.

Drakken frowned, looking preoccupied. "What about a villain?"

Shego looked up. "Hmmm?"

"A villain would probably want a villainess as the mother of their children. Evil children and all, you know?" He said absentmindedly as he kept zapping.

"Pfft, maybe, but the villains I've met so far haven't exactly been Mr. Universe." She said, rejecting the entire male population of the world of villainy with a simple flick of her wrist.

"Oh, right. I forgot." Drakken said dryly. "You like beach gorillas. Not many of them in the business, except for maybe the henchmen."

"Yeah," Shego's tone was also dry, but with an undercurrent of amusement. "Super villainy tends to attract the pale, antisocial type with sun phobia, no regard for beauty sleep or a healthy diet or even other people, especially when they're plotting."

Drakken nodded. "Exactly...hey!"

She smirked. "You know, maybe we should hit the gym later..."

Drakken deflated for a second before he sat up, leaning forward hopefully. "Do we _have_ to? I mean, I was sort of looking forward to just _relaxing_ today—"

She sent him a stern stare, and his mouth fell shut.

There was a silence where he could practically _hear_ the seconds ticking by.

Eventually, he gave a small cough. "Um, so...six okay?"

She grinned, looking pleased. "Sounds good."

Leaning back on the couch, he sighed. "At least it's a Sunday tomorrow."

"Yeah," Shego interjected casually. "I was thinking we could do some sparring again tomorrow."

Drakken gawked at her. "B-but..._Sunday_!" He objected.

One delicate eyebrow arched. "So?"

Drakken spluttered, staring. "This is going too far! Y-you're— you're turning into a real slave driver, you know that? Maybe I should just go ahead and get you a whip and spiky boots, huh?"

Shego's lips twitched with suppressed mirth. "Why, Dr. Drakken! I never knew you had such _kinky _ideas about me…!" She gasped.

He paled. "Wh-what?"

"I mean, that's just _inappropriate_!" She accused, clasping her hands to her bosom. "I find that offensive!"

Drakken blinked rapidly, looking as addled as a forgetful drunk who'd been asked to solve a crossword puzzle. "Huh? B-but I didn't— what?"

Unable to contain herself any longer, Shego doubled over in laughter.

Drakken scowled. "If I have to put up with training even during the weekend, then you have to help me assemble the rest of my new doomsday device, or I'll be way behind schedule." He announced, peeved. "You've been distracting me for weeks! I've barely had time to do any real work!"

As if somebody had pulled a switch, Shego's laughter halted abruptly; she groaned. "Can't you just get some henchmen to help you?"

Drakken shook his head, not to be swayed. "They have the next two weeks off. It's their annual holiday. Non-negotiable."

Shego groaned again, a pained expression on her face. "Oh, you _gotta_ be kidding me."

"Will you help me or not?" Drakken pressed.

"Whatever."

"Great!"

* * *

"I can't take it anymore, I need a break."

"Five more minutes."

Drakken pouted, looking frustrated. "That's what you said five minutes ago."

"Five more minutes." She repeated, her tone bored.

Drakken grunted as he gripped the weights firmly and lifted. "And what do I get out of all this, anyway?"

"You'll get into better shape?" She suggested with an 'it-should-be-_obvious_' kind of attitude.

"Whatever." He puffed as he worked with the weights.

"You'll feel better about yourself?" Shego went on impassively.

Drakken's answer was immediate and matter-of-fact. "I _already_ like myself."

Shego sighed. "Okay, I get it; you want something more, huh? Well, how's this for incentive?" She ventured, leaning down over him, her dark ponytail flopping over her shoulder, her hand on her hip and her expression determined. "In a few weeks' time, if I haven't been successful in teaching you, you get to…" She paused for dramatic effect; Drakken realized he was holding his breath. '…say_ I_ _told you so'_." She finished, and straightened up again, looking expectant.

"Hmm…." Drakken was clearly intrigued, but trying to look like he wasn't.

Her lips curled with amusement. "Yeah, see? _Knew _you'd like that."

He scoffed, irritated that she'd managed to motivate him. "Hah, I'll look forward to it."

_Or__ maybe_, Shego added to herself, looking absentmindedly up into the ceiling as she waited for him to finish with the weights, _maybe you'll even earn my respect._

* * *

"Shego, hand me the Westward 5MW81 Standard."

Shego shoved her green and purple goggles up on her forehead and gave her boss a perplexed look. "Excuse me?"

Surprised, Drakken gingerly turned off the welder and pushed his own goggles out of his eyes, blinking at her owlishly. "Uh, the little black screw driver?" He prompted, pointing. "Over there."

Shego rolled her eyes and brought him the aforementioned tool. "Why didn't you just say so in the first place?"

Drakken groaned. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

"What does this thing _do_, anyway?" Shego asked as they finally stepped back, two days later, to admire their handiwork.

"It stops time!" He declared, throwing his arms out wide, his voice echoing faintly in the high-ceilinged lab.

"Uh huh." Shego's tone was flat. "And that would help us…how?"

Drakken scowled at Shego; he was already somewhat annoyed because he was sure they could have finished the machine faster if she'd just let up on her strict training regime for a couple of days, and her failure to be impressed didn't exactly improve his mood.

"Well, it doesn't actually stop time _per se_, it just, you know, slows down little patches of time…wherever we point it. So it wouldn't affect _us_, obviously. " He explained snippily before he recovered, his mind starting to wander. "Just imagine what we can do with this thing, Shego! The things we can get away with!"

"Yeah, we could use it on downtown rush hour traffic and see if anybody notices the difference," Shego remarked, playful.

"Huh? What good would that— oh, _ha ha_, Shego! Look, can't you see the possibilities here?" He insisted, huffing.

"That depends. What's the range?" Shego asked immediately.

Drakken's brow knitted as he dithered a bit. "Uh, now I'm not quite sure where I put the manual, but I believe it was up to a twenty-five mile radius...?"

"You know, that sounds kinda familiar…" Shego murmured, squinting at the machine.

"What do you mean, familiar?" Drakken asked, suddenly apprehensive.

Shego tilted her head at the massive bulk of the machine. "I dunno, it just…I'm just getting a weird sense of déjà vu here." Frowning, she went over to the pile of newspapers on the coffee table and started going through them. "Oy…these papers are all like three weeks old!"

"Well, yes!" Drakken said with a dismissive hand gesture. "I finally cancelled our subscription a couple of weeks back, remember? Those subscriptions made it far too easy for people to find us!"

"Okay, but I'm sure I saw…hmm…let's check the net." She suggested, dropping into the wheeled office chair in front of the big screen computer. "What's that thing called again?"

"The Temporal Decelerator!" Drakken reminded her impatiently. "It says so right on the box, Shego."

"Fine, I'll Zoogle it." She said, typing in the name. "Okay, okay…let's see…uh, all I'm finding here are ads for the machine…'The Temporal Decelerator – Take Charge of Your Own Time!' yadda, yadda…oh, wait, here's something," She added as she caught sight of a recent article, and clicked it. Then she made a face as she realized what, or rather _who_ it was about. "Uh oh."

"Uh oh?" Drakken leaned across her shoulder, beginning to sound nervous. "What do you mean '_uh oh'_? That's _never _a good sound!"

Shego gave him an awkward glance. "Uh, it turns out that Dementor did the exact same thing over in Lowerton last week."

Drakken looked completely blindsided. "Huh? What? _Really_?"

"Really. Look at this." She said flatly.

As his eyes scanned the page, his grip on Shego's chair tightened; and then, the inevitable outburst: "Oh, for Pete's sake— nnngghh! How could the people from the catalogue sell another one so soon? And to _Dementor_? They _must_ know he's my rival!"

"Doy, because that's not _their_ problem!" Shego said sharply, starting to grow irritated; once again, he'd goofed, and he'd taken her down with him for the fall. "They need to make money, they can't just let…like a few years pass before they sell another item!"

"Well— well, they should show some…some integrity or something!" Drakken blurted out helplessly. "They should take some responsibility, and not let villains embarrass themselves like that! Darn mass production! Argh!" How could he have let this happen? He'd been so busy with Shego's stupid training that he hadn't had the energy or the presence of mind to stay current this last week or so.

Shego made an irked little sound. "Look, if you want to be original, then you have to invent your own stuff, not buy it from some stupid catalogue." She told him firmly, giving the Temporal Decelerator an accusing little kick.

She was right, of course, and Drakken looked completely crestfallen for a second before he growled in vexation. "You _know_ I haven't had any inspiration lately, Shego!" He huffed, stomping over to the coffee table and snatching up an old newspaper. "If I could invent something, I _would_!"

Shego let out a heavy breath. "I'll get my coat."

Drakken paused halfway through tearing the old newspaper to pieces. "Hmmm?"

Shego eyed him impatiently. "Well, we're _obviously_ going shopping for a different machine."

He gave her a puzzled frown before nodding slowly. "…right. I mean, _yes_, right. _Obviously_."

"You _do_ still have the receipt for this one, right?" She asked, hands coming to rest on her hips.

The blank stare he gave her made her groan. "Oh, come _on_…!"

Drakken grinned sheepishly. "Help me look?"

Shego threw her hands up. "Gah! How much did this stupid thing _cost_, anyway? Or should I even _ask_?"

"Does it matter?" He retorted, getting a bit flustered. "It's not as if I'll have to pay the bill once I've become ruler of the world, now is it?"

She growled. "You are gonna do _so_ many sit-ups for this."

"Feh, as if you wouldn't have made me do them either way," Drakken muttered.

Despite herself, Shego had to grin. "Darn tootin' I would...!"

They started to search the lab.

Abruptly, Drakken halted as he was rummaging through his pockets for the receipt, putting a hand on Shego's arm to stop her from removing the stuffing from the couch. "Wait…wait a minute…"

She glanced up, disinterested. "What _now_?"

"I don't think— wait, no— wait…yes! YES!" Drakken blurted as his eyes lit up.

Shego gave him an odd look. "Um, either you really, _really_ like looking for lost receipts, or you just did something I _so_ don't wanna know about."

"What?" Drakken asked in a befuddled tone; then wrinkled his nose as he caught on. "Eww, Shego— oh, never mind! Look, I just had an _idea_!"

The quip came instantly: "Uh huh…so, should I alert the press?"

"Funny!" Drakken barked. "I just figured out what to do about this stupid doom machine! We don't have to take it back!" He insisted, waving a hand at the big, blue machine. "We've been assembling it for days, and it would be a pity if all that hard work was for nothing!"

Shego clucked her tongue, nodding. "_I'll_ say."

As his new idea began to really take form in his mind, Drakken was getting excited again. "So what I want to do is to use some parts from some of my old doomsday devices and modify this one, creating a whole new machine with many more functions!"

Shego looked doubtful. "So you're just gonna…what, slap your old machines together with this one like some sorta technological _quilt_?"

Drakken gave her a withering look before nodding reluctantly. "I'd have to make a lot of modifications, but that's a…crude way of putting it, yes." He admitted, but then the grumbling demeanor quickly turned to enthusiasm once more: "Don't you see, Shego? It'll be like nothing anybody has had before, because it'll have the combined power of several doomsday devices! And if one ability gets sabotaged, there will still be others left—"

"Won't that take an enormous amount of power?" She pointed out skeptically. "Won't it totally overload?"

"Hmmm, I'll have to figure out a way to keep it stable…" Drakken mused, scratching his forehead in thought. "Maybe if I only keep one part running at maximum power at a time and let the others rest, so to speak…"

"Well…I guess it's worth a shot." Shego shrugged. "At least then we can make some use out of all the junk you have in storage."

"Hah!" Drakken exclaimed his triumphant defiance. "I _told _you I'd be able to use those parts one day! Oh, oh, _I_ know! Maybe I could even add a second setting to the Temporal Decelerator so we can _speed up_ time! And I shall call it…uh…Project Protean!"

Shego blinked. "Protein?"

"Proh-tee-uhn, not proh-teen," Drakken corrected her, a note of irritation creeping into his voice. "Many-sided, multifaceted…and so on."

"Why don't you just call it…I dunno, Project Multi-Purpose or something, then?" Shego shrugged.

"Because Project Protean sounds _so_ much cooler!" Drakken said loftily.

"Project Protean." Shego mumbled, shaking her head. "Today…alliteration. Tomorrow…talking to your imaginary friend, Humphrey the Hippo."

Drakken didn't notice. He was walking towards the Temporal Decelerator with a contemplative look on his face. "And it will need to be a new color so Dementor can't say I've copied him." He frowned. "Too bad it's already blue, because—"

"Green."

Drakken stopped his usual creative-planning-in-progress-pacing and turned towards her. "What?"

"Spray paint the thing green." Shego explained, pointing at the machine. "User friendly _and_ attractive."

Drakken rolled his eyes. "Oh, that is _so_ narcissistic."

"Oh, really?" Shego smirked lopsidedly. "Then please enlighten me…exactly why _did_ you choose the _blue_ doomsday device?"

Drakken hesitated; she had a good point. "Nngghh. Fine. Green it is."

"Good," she said smoothly, looking self-content. "But you know, Doc…I gotta hand it to ya…" She was saying the words with a touch of awkward reluctance, yet her expression was softening unexpectedly; a small, almost pleased smile appearing on her face. "I thought for a moment you were just gonna…you know, give up and spend the rest of the day whining and ranting, but you actually tried to make the most of it." She gave him a little nod, the smile staying put. "Good for you."

Drakken's eyes went wide as she smiled at him; the effect it had on him felt like the mental equivalent of an enthusiastic pat on the back or a hug.

Drakken was used to a steady stream of bubbly, proud compliments from his mother— _such a good boy, he's a doctor, he helps people, he's so handsome, yack yack yack_— but this was something entirely different, and not only because his mother didn't know the truth about him; his mother had _always_ been like that, even back before he'd turned evil.

Shego handed out sincere compliments almost as seldom as Frugal Lucre handed out big tips at restaurants, and therefore, when she actually did, it felt that much more special. Not many people warranted a compliment from Shego. She wasn't an easy person to impress.

But now, he found himself actually wanting to.

Maybe.

If she could just stop being so hard on him during training.

Still…there really was something about being smiled at by Shego.

He wouldn't mind seeing it again. Knowing her, though, it would probably be as hard a commodity to come by as a henchman whose idea of a good time _didn't_ include staring vapidly into space while scratching himself.

* * *

The first time he managed to make her hit the mat during one of their sparring sessions, Shego didn't know which one of them was the most shocked.

She'd been trying for _hours_ to teach him this particular judo throw, and he'd finally gotten it right.

She remembered Junior doing this, and the pride she'd felt as a teacher, but somehow...it was nothing compared to _this. _

Dr. D had been a much tougher nut to crack; she'd had to fight him mentally all the way.

There was a long silence as they stared at each other, during which Dr. D took a nervous step backwards.

When she only grinned, looking impressed, he felt the relief course through him from head to toe as he leaned down to help her up, pulling her up by her hand.

Of course, she took advantage of this by pulling him forward by his arm and**, **since he was off balance, flipping him onto his back.

When he gaped up at her, offended, she simply shrugged, studying him from under nonchalantly lowered lids. "Here's a lil' tip for ya, Doc— in a _real_ fight, don't ever offer to help your opponent up, okay?"

Drakken growled as he scrambled to his feet. How could she have _done_ that to him? "But it was just you, Shego! I thought I'd just be nice and—"

Shego wagged a reprimanding finger at him. "Ah, ah, ah— lesson number one, Dr. D. You never know who's gonna betray you. So always keep a bit of distance between other people and yourself."

"Yeah, you're good at that." Drakken muttered, attempting to satisfy the urge to get back at her; verbally or physically, he didn't care.

"Oh, boo hoo, I'm so hurt." Shego brushed him off impassively. "What, was that supposed to be all deep now? I meant_ literally_! Keep out of _reaching_ distance, at least three feet...keep your guard up."

"Yes, yes," Drakken grumbled, cricking his neck and fixing her with a gaze more determined than any she'd seen from him so far during their training. "Now let's try that again."

He wasn't nervous anymore— finally. Now he was just ticked off.

Shego smirked wickedly.

They'd gotten to the fun part.

_**TBC.**_

* * *

**Author's note:** "Look at me, I'm a kitty cat! I wear a bowl of peanuts fooooor a hat! If I eat them all, I will get fat! Blah blah blah, I'm a kitty caaaaat!"

Ahem.

A huge **thank you** goes out once more to my excellent beta **Charlotte C**. Please check out her newest D/S fic, _If The Music's Too Loud. _It's her reply to RadiantBeam's D/S music challenge, and she's met that challenge very well. There's something for everybody there, I'd say.

"**What, I can't have layers?"****: **Spoken by the character Cordelia Chase in _Buffy, The Vampire Slayer_ Season 3, Episode 6: "Band Candy".

**Westward ****5MW81 Standard:** A random screwdriver name I found.

**Temporal Decelerator: **The original (or temporary) name for this machine was The Kronos Manipulator. I thought it sounded sorta lame, so I asked my friend **Teh Dipstick** for help, and he came up with this name. Thank you, **Dippy**.

**Zoogle:** Google. Yes, I'm lazy.

**Humphrey the Hippo:** A Barney the Dinosaur parody from that sadly underrated but wonderful show _The Critic_.

Seriously, _why_ did MHS hire Shego as a teacher in _Stop Team Go_? She's a _convicted felon_. I guess they really _are_ that desperate for more staff. Maybe Mr. Barkin was getting tired of teaching every class...ever?

Or...maybe she just used a fake ID? Nah, she was SUPER!GOOD!CREEPY!Shego, she couldn't have lied like that. Besides, using a fake ID _would_ be kinda pointless since KP would recognize her instantly.

And, as my beta **Charlotte** pointed out, you'd think they'd catch the fact that she's a wanted criminal when they _fingerprinted her and ran a criminal records check_, wouldn't you? XD

Well...I'm stumped. So I'll just chalk it up to Cartoon Logic...also known as complete _lack_ of logic.

* * *


	4. Three Bean Salad

**Happy Hill of Beans**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary: **A little tale about confidence. Set post-_Odds Man In, _but doesn't rule out the following episodes. Drakken/Shego. General/humor/drama/friendship/romance.

* * *

**Three Bean Salad**

* * *

So far, they'd just been doing basic sparring. Blocking with hands and feet, throwing each other to the ground...those sorts of things.

Now...it was time to get serious.

And she knew of only one way to _really_ do that.

When he showed up in the training room that morning, she simply walked right up to him, no warning or anything, no greeting—

And she hit him.

The punch was straight and true and struck him right on the jaw.

His head snapped back, and his eyes sprang open, shocked.

When he looked at her again, he was cradling his jaw in his hands, gaping at her, looking deeply offended and betrayed.

For a terrible moment, she almost, _almost_ thought he was actually going to _cry_, but before she knew it, he was growling, approaching her.

Immediately provoked.

She'd _truly_ gotten his attention.

Her heart actually leapt a little in her chest as she felt oddly relieved and excited; he wasn't going to chicken out.

The next time she tried to punch his face, he blocked.

And then, to her mild surprise, he tried to punch her right back.

Grinning, she danced away easily, ponytail flying behind her. "Oh now," she laughed, "So Blueberry Belly wants to play, huh?"

Drakken felt his face heat up with humiliation and anger. "Don't call me that," he said through gritted teeth.

"_Make_ me." She challenged impishly.

Again, he growled a little, and she could tell he was getting offended at her playful tone. She frowned; it was all good and well to work him up so he'd forget about reservation or nervousness, but if she got him _too_ angry, he'd just be attacking with headless rage and inaccuracy and wouldn't be able to get through her defences at all.

"Stop _teasing_," he muttered waspishly, before he threw another punch. Shego frowned again; the punch was clumsy and far too easy to dodge.

"Dr. D," Shego caught the next punch easily with her hand and held him there, looking directly into his eyes; trying to make him concentrate on her words. "You know how that teen heroine is— she loves to mouth off at every given opportunity. It makes it more fun for her, and if she's lucky, it throws her enemy off their game. You have to get used to somebody trying to mock you during a fight so you won't be bothered too much by it, Doc, because that's what Kim Possible and probably a lot of other opponents you're going to meet in your lifetime are going to do." She noticed then that he was about to give her one of his defiant pouts, and squeezed his fist in her hand; not to hurt him, but to make sure he was listening properly. "Do you _see_?"

"So you're trying to tell me you're only doing this for my own good?" Drakken asked, radiating skepticism.

A cheeky grin appeared on her face. "Yeah..._that_, and it's kinda funny."

Glowering, Drakken pulled his fist from her grip. "Nngh! You know what? You're almost making me _want_ to actually—"

"Good. Go with that." Shego interrupted him with a smirk, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face before she bounced on her toes, getting back into the sparring dance. "Come on."

Drakken exhaled and rolled his shoulders, trying to get a grip on himself, and followed her lead.

They danced around for a while, and Shego got in a couple of good punches. Drakken was starting to sweat in earnest, his blue face taking on a slightly purple shade and his hair drooping a little.

"Come on," Shego goaded in a strangely hushed voice, "you're not even _trying_...! You have to at least _try_...! Come on, hit me."

Drakken's gaze met hers, and there was something odd there, something in her eyes and something in her tone, that caused him pause. He wasn't quite sure how to put his discovery into words, but the shape and feel of it was...she looked sort of anxious and impatient and hopeful and disappointed and angry and sad all at once--

And he didn't know what she wanted, exactly, but all of a sudden, he knew it had something to do with how harshly she often treated him, and had been treating him all these years, and how hard she'd driven him lately— she was _waiting_ for something, she was trying to—

He got the feeling that it wasn't just about fighting, but he didn't know what else it could be, and it was distracting him.

Frustration and confusion were moving inside of him, like they were being stirred up by some outside force, swirling around like the milk in Shego's coffee that morning, with nowhere to go, just swirling around, trapped—

Finally, Shego went to throw another punch, and, in an instinctual act of self-preservation, he ducked down with a yelp as her fist closed in on his face, and she missed him entirely, letting out a small, perplexed grunt as she overbalanced—

Heart beating fast, Drakken sprang back up and gave her a little shove, which made her stumble, and—

He drew his fist back on an impulse...and hit her, just like she'd wanted.

Shego sucked in a sharp breath at the impact; it hurt a bit, but it hadn't been a very good punch...though that didn't matter. The main point was that it had actually connected at all. He was getting better.

Drakken was staring at the faintly reddening imprint on her jaw, then at his fist, then at her again, as if he couldn't believe what he'd just done. It had all happened so fast. "S-sorry—" He began, but she snarled and kicked him in the ribs.

He grunted in pain and gaped at her.

"Don't apologize just because I'm a woman," she panted, kicking him again; this time he blocked. "Men hitting women is supposed to be wrong because women are physically weaker than men, so it's unfair and it's bullying, right? But I'm no ordinary woman, I'm stronger than most men," she reminded him, blocking a kick with her forearms. "And, I mean...I hit you first, didn't I?" She grinned, slugging his arm. "Now try again."

So he did.

They began their dance again, her dodging him with relative ease, but then he finally feinted, and—

This time the punch connected solidly, no sloppy delivery, no knuckles dragging across her face; it was just _BLAM_, and it even knocked some spittle out of her mouth.

_Yes!__ Finally!_ Secretly, she whooped with excitement. There was nothing more satisfying as a teacher than when you got to see some results; when you knew you'd had an impact, when you knew your student was actually _learning_—

She wiped her mouth, grinning appreciatively despite the hot and cold tingle of fresh pain on her jaw. "Oooh, me likey...!"

He halted, his lips twitching into a nervous, hopeful smile. "It was good?"

"Yeah, but you're still too easily distractible," she sneered, grabbing his arm and tripping him by putting a foot behind his heel and pushing his upper body backwards. It wasn't even a real martial arts move; it was just some sucker move she'd learned on the playground way back when.

He dropped like a ton of bricks, and she laughed.

Still...even if she felt forced to show him that he still had a long way to go, he did finally deserve some praise. She'd been hard on him so far for a reason, and it had finally paid off— he was getting better, and she had to admit she was actually starting to feel kind of proud of him.

Reaching down, she held out her hand to help him up.

He took it, but not to get up.

The room went topsy turvy and her stomach lurched a little as she was flipped around on her back, hitting the mat with a loud 'smack' that echoed in the high-ceilinged room.

"Oof," she gasped, clutching her head as she squinted, disorientated, up at him.

Wow, was _that_ a smug grin! That had to be the smuggest grin she'd ever seen.

And how glorious it was that _she'd_ been the one who'd taught him that old trick! He really was _learning_, wasn't he?

Of course, that didn't mean he was going to get away with besting her like that.

A quick, sweeping kick of her legs, and he dropped to the mat beside her, moaning.

Shego sat up on her knees, enjoying the view as her boss sent her a spiteful, but disgruntled look.

Smiling lopsidedly down at him, Shego gave his cheek a companionable pat.

His eyes darted to the hand on his cheek, surprised and uncertain, and there was a fleeting moment of something...weird...before she realized that her thumb was rubbing his skin in a slow, gentle way.

Drakken wasn't quite sure why, but his mouth suddenly felt dry; a tiny, almost imperceptible shiver going through him.

Quickly, Shego removed her hand, feigning indifference. "Hey, not bad, Dr. D." She complimented him, nodding approvingly, "Not bad at all. You're learning."

His eyes lit up as he was distracted from the awkward moment. "Really?"

Shego nodded again, grinning. "_Somebody's_ making _progress_."

"Hah!" Drakken exclaimed triumphantly, as he sat up, too.

"Let's do it again tomorrow." She told him over her shoulder as she crossed the floor to pick up her water bottle. "You need to get even better."

He gawked at her before his shoulders slumped. "Awww!"

* * *

The next Friday night found Drakken in his lab, working on the modifications required for Project Protean. He'd had his henchmen transport an assortment of the least damaged doomsday devices from storage, but now he was having a bit of trouble picking which ones to use. It was...a bit difficult to pick two or three things out of a selection of two dozen, it seemed.

This was the kind of situation where he could've used a second opinion— i.e. a sidekick— but of course Shego had skipped off right after their daily training, leaving him to figure out this conundrum by himself.

Shego had a better— and more honest— memory than himself when it came to some things, he knew, and would've been more objective than him in making these decisions. It was only natural. After all, he'd designed and built a lot of these machines from scratch, and had an emotional attachment to them, so his judgement might be a little...impaired.

But fine. Whatever. If she wasn't going to help him, that was...fine! He could do this by himself. He'd made them, so he could puzzle out which ones would be the most technically compatible, the most user-friendly, the most aesthetically pleasing, the most practical and the most intimidating—

He groaned. "Nnngghh..."

Maybe he could take a small coffee break...or maybe a bathroom break. People _did _say it was an excellent place to think. Why, the rumours had it that it was where the infamous Dr. Aaron Iceberg had invented the first freeze ray...

"Okay, Doc..." Shego was standing in the doorway, holding two pairs of protective visors and the welder, hip cocked and gaze determined. "Let's get this party started."

"Shego? What are you doing here?" He asked, surprised. "I figured you'd be out...having fun or something," he added, waving a hand to vaguely describe whatever 'fun' she usually had.

"Yeah, and I figured I had a job to finish." She replied, sauntering across the lab. She held up the cord to the welder. "Do you have an extension cord?"

Drakken blinked. Well...that was a lot more initiative that he was used to seeing from her, but he wasn't about to complain, even if it confused him. He just wanted to finish his project, and maybe he could try figuring out her behaviour later. "Uh, yes...I do believe I have some...somewhere..." He murmured absently. "So, where've you been, anyway?" He asked as he started going through a large drawer.

"Oh, you know...just having a little me time," Shego said as she dumped the visors and the welder on his work bench with a clatter. "A little dinner, a little massage, a little speeding on the highway..." She sent him a lazy grin, leaning on the work bench.

Automatically, Drakken was about to reprimand her for goofing off while he was working, but then it occurred to him that— again— she _was_ there on a Friday night.

Furthermore, they'd once again spent far too much time together during the week because of the training. Even _his_ nerves had begun wearing thin.

After she left, he'd been so exhausted, both mentally and physically, that instead of starting the work on his project right away like he'd planned, he'd ended up spending nearly four hours vegetating in front of the TV after he'd had dinner. So he'd have to wonder what it had been like for _her_, considering her pain limit was much lower when it came to having to spend a lot of time with people. It was a miracle her patience had lasted this long, and even more of a miracle that she was standing there right then.

She had to be even more determined that he'd thought.

"Speeding on the highway?" He wondered, handing her the extension cord. "You didn't get pulled over, did you?"

"You really think a police car could catch up with the Evil Family Company car?" Shego asked dubiously. "With your supersonic engines? And wings?"

Realization dawned on his face. "Ah. You took Lucy."

Shego wrinkled her nose. "What is it with men and giving inanimate objects female names? Or do I even want to know?"

Drakken gave her a reproachful pout. "Hey, I love Lucy. I spent a lot of time modifying that car, I'll have you know!"

"Yeah, you did a much better job than with the Dumb-Vee, that's for sure." Shego scoffed, nodding. "How did you suddenly get to be the big bad mechanic, anyway?"

"Well, I picked up a thing or two when we worked with Eddie...and I took auto shop while I was stuck in prison," he added darkly.

Shego cleared her throat. "Anyway, uh...good job on that. I like...Lucy, too. She...I mean, it handles well. And...well, black...it's a nice colour choice."

He shrugged, brightening again at the compliments. "Yes, I chose it because it was the only colour I knew we'd both like."

Shego's eyebrows rose. "That was...uh...unusually thoughtful of you."

Drakken looked away, feeling inexplicably uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Yes, well— I mainly chose black for stealth purposes, you know! It's not like I— I mean, it's my design, I make my own decisions, and if I didn't like black, I wouldn't have picked it!" He spluttered, scowling.

Shego gave him a long, confused look, but decided to refrain from commenting on or attempting to understand his unpredictable mood swings. "So, um, maybe we should get started?" She prompted.

Drakken looked at her face appraisingly; yep, she was still motivated to work, for some reason, and he felt sort of...impressed by that. "You're probably expecting overtime pay for this, aren't you?" He asked, his tone flat.

"No, I'm just doing this out of the goodness of my heart," she snarked.

"Overtime pay it is," he agreed, unfazed. "Are you available tomorrow, too?" He went on smoothly, ignoring the fact that she was gawking at him.

Shego shook her head, blinking. "Um, well...I guess..."

"I want to make some headway with this project." Drakken explained breezily. "Are you in?"

She pursed her lips, mulling it over for a moment. "Weekend bonus?" She asked at last.

Drakken sent her a stern frown. "And since _when_ do we have a _weekend bonus_?"

"Since I'm suddenly working on a Saturday." She shot back bluntly.

"Oh, for— fine, all right, great." Drakken rolled his eyes. "I'm sure we can work something out."

"Overtime pay?" Shego ventured, tilting her head at him.

"Overtime pay _and_ a weekend bonus?" He exclaimed, outraged. "What are you trying to do, rob me blind?"

Her mouth quirked. "Okay, what about overtime pizza, then?"

He peered at her grimly for a while, and then: "No olives."

She nodded, unruffled by his demand. "No pineapple."

"But I love pineapple!" Drakken objected immediately.

She grinned a bit; this was starting to feel like sparring again. "And I love olives." She retorted.

Drakken let out a heavy sigh. "Okay, okay— weekend bonus, no overtime pay tomorrow, and no olives or pineapple. Satisfied?"

"Uh huh. And I get Sunday off." Her tone was matter-of-fact.

He sighed in relief. "_Finally_ something I agree with!"

Her eyebrow cocked in surprise. "Oh, really?"

"Oh, yes." Drakken muttered, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. "Because if I don't get a day to myself soon, I'm going to go nuts."

Shego had to laugh a little. "Yeah, see why I like my vacations?"

"Yes, yes, I get it," Drakken said grudgingly.

"Oooh, an actual learning curve. Wow."

"Ice the comedy, Shego. The testing room awaits us."

* * *

Three hours later, they'd surveyed sixteen of the twenty-four devices that Drakken had pulled out of storage for the project.

So far, Shego was less than pleased with what she'd seen, and none of them had passed her inspection. It made Drakken feel quite frustrated, but he had to concede, if only to himself, that most of her objections had been more or less valid.

"Okay...you know what?" Shego was saying now, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I really can't imagine _any_ scenario where we would need a randomly malfunctioning truth ray. Can _you_?"

"Darn that Kim Possible!" Drakken huffed, patting the damaged truth ray as if it was a wounded baby bird. "If she hadn't made us go through the ice, my truth ray would be perfectly fine—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah— moving on here!" Shego said quickly; she felt as if they'd have been done at least an hour ago if they didn't have to stop every ten seconds for his defensive ranting. This trip down memory lane was obviously a bit tough on the ol' mad scientist ego. "What about the particle cannon?" She said, pointing at it. "Doesn't that need the pan-whatever thingie to run?"

"The Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer!" He corrected her, scowling. "We could just steal it again, though!" He insisted, polishing the unharmed cannon lovingly with a handkerchief from his pocket. "I mean, who knows when a vortex of doom might come in handy, right?"

Shego gave a long-suffering sigh. "Uh, yeah, stole it twice already, didn't work out, don't wanna end up trapped in a TV dimension again— moving on!"

Drakken hesitated, frowning deeply. "Well, what about...um...the sonic disruptor?"

"What did _that_ do again?" She asked, willing to give anything a chance just to get this over with.

Drakken smiled at the opportunity to gloat. "It uses sonic waves to—"

"Disrupt?" Shego cut in, unable to help herself.

"Clever, Shego." Drakken groused. "Clever."

"So, do I get to try it out?" Shego wondered, getting a bit curious. "I never got to the last time."

"Knock yourself out." Drakken shrugged, handing her a device that vaguely resembled a megaphone.

"Uh, kinda small, isn't it?" Shego remarked skeptically.

"Well, this is just the handheld version, Shego." Drakken explained with a flap of a hand. "I have a bigger one, too."

"All right," Shego smirked as she tried the heft of the device, testing the weight. "Now where should I point this sucker...? Ah-hah!"

Drakken sucked in a shocked breath. "Nooo! Not the Magmachine!"

"It's full of cheese, Dr. D!" Shego objected. "It's done for!"

"But...but I loved that Magmachine!" Drakken said miserably.

Shego's response was blunt. "No, you didn't. You just liked saying the word 'Magmachine', Doc."

"Oh, okay— whatever. Disrupt the...Magmachine if you must!" Drakken grumbled, putting on his visor.

"Oh, I must!" Shego nodded with a grin, putting on her own visor before pointing the sonic disruptor at the Magmachine and firing. It blew up with a satisfyingly loud crash and boom, bits of metal and coagulated cheese flying everywhere. "Hah! Oh, yeah, you should definitely keep _this_ puppy! Could come in handy."

"Excellent!" Drakken beamed, pulling off the visor to survey the damage. Ah well, the Magmachine had been a good idea in theory— too bad there was always that one little detail he didn't realize. He hadn't been able to eat cheese ever since. Well, except for on pizza, of course. You couldn't just _swear off _eating pizza. That would be madness.

"So, what's next?" Shego said eagerly, putting the sonic disruptor down next to the truth ray and pushing the visor up on her forehead.

"I was considering the Doomsday Decimator." Drakken suggested.

"Uh..." Shego's brow knitted pensively. "Was that the thing...that time...out in space?"

Drakken nodded. "Quite right."

"Uh, yeah— wasn't that the one Kim Possible turned on you and it shot you right in the face?" She queried, starting to feel apprehensive.

Drakken grunted at the memory; it was a good thing it hadn't had time to charge fully yet. "The very same."

Shego gave another long-suffering sigh. "Here's a little drawback, though— that thing had the power to _blow up an entire planet_, Genius."

Drakken bristled. "So?"

"And you consider putting the Doomsday Decimator on this protean thing of yours a good idea _because_...?" Shego asked slowly, staring at him in disbelief.

"It never hurts to have an ace up your sleeve, Shego." Drakken said haughtily.

Shego stared. "What if somebody accidentally put it on the highest setting and activated it...while we were _on_ _the planet_?"

"Well..." He tried, growing uncertain, "...uh, at least we'd go out with a bang?"

Shego scoffed. "Schyeah...not exactly the kind of bang _I'd_ like to go out with..."

Drakken froze. Okay, his imagination was just _not_ going to go there—

He paled; then he flushed. It went there. It just _had_ to go there! He knew it was pessimistic, not to mention highly inappropriate, but he could remember at least once when he'd had the thought before; afraid they wouldn't make it this time, afraid this was it, no more, and feeling some fleeting urge to— no consequences, no fallout--

"Yes, I suppose...there are worse ways to go," he heard himself mumble, his face hot.

Shego's eyes widened with surprise— she'd expected him to get annoyed and scold her for her 'tasteless joke' or maybe just not get the joke at all— but she didn't say anything.

A tense, dizzy moment quivered between them for a second, like a plucked string.

Drakken decided then that they'd been up for too long. Overworked and un-rested, they were starting to think and say silly things.

"Let's, um...maybe it's time to call it a night, hmm? Shego?" He suggested nervously. "It's nearly one am already."

Shego cleared her throat softly, removing her visor from her head and fidgeting with it. "Yeah, uh...I think I've earned some rest by now. I'll just leave the welder here, then."

Drakken nodded. "It's...er, yes, we'd better start the assembling tomorrow, I think. And, uh, thank you, Shego." He added, a bit awkwardly. "Good job."

Shego sent him a fleeting half-smile. "Oh, heh...you're welcome, Doc."

_**TBC.**_

* * *

**Author's note:** LYEK ZOMG! UST! TTLY! FUR SURE!

A big thanks goes out to my beta, **Charlotte C**, who persists despite my frequent (on this story, anyway) updates and despite the fact that she has a busy life. Glad you enjoyed the UST. :D

**Dr. Aaron Iceberg: **When I was a kid, I saw an episode of _The Nanny_ where Fran said this about her chilly rival for Mr. Sheffield's affections, CC Babcock: "If she was Jewish, her name would be Iceberg." For some reason, I never forgot that joke. XD

"**I love**** Lucy.":** How could I possibly let that joke just _lie_ there? Even though it was stupid?

* * *


	5. Canned Beans

**Happy Hill of Beans**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary: **A little tale about confidence. Set post-_Odds Man In, _but doesn't rule out the following episodes. Drakken/Shego. General/humor/drama/friendship/romance.

* * *

**Canned Beans**

* * *

"Again, I _really_ don't see why we have to be here. We have a perfectly good gym at home."

"Just trust me. It's all part of your training."

Oh, great, Drakken thought, she had _plans_. Plans that would most likely include discomfort and/or ridicule for him.

Drakken sighed as his gaze roamed across the familiar rooms where he'd spent about three weeks getting rid of his cupcake gut. At least he wasn't fat anymore, though, so the ordeal would be less painful this time around. And, in fact, he had some _plans_ of his own...if only things would work out the way he hoped they would.

"So...what now?" He asked without much enthusiasm.

"I thought we'd start off on the static bikes again," Shego smirked. "Get you warmed up before we move on to the tread mill, and then the weights."

"Can't wait," Drakken said dully, following after her.

Drakken froze, then, as he caught sight of a familiar face. Oh...wow. Was luck really on his side for once? He'd hoped so, but he'd actually just assumed that Tony wouldn't show up today. After Shego had scared Tony, he'd been absent from the gym for weeks.

His heart racing, Drakken checked for the little container in his pocket, and sure enough, he'd remembered it. He hadn't thought he'd get the chance to use it today, but he'd figured it'd been worth a shot to bring it, just in case. If he absolutely _had_ to go to this gym, he'd decided he'd try to make the most of it.

And now he would get his revenge...

"Hey, Doc, are you comin' or not?" Shego said impatiently, tapping her foot.

Blinking rapidly, Drakken was torn out of his daydreaming scheming, and said the only plausible excuse that came to mind: "Hang on, Shego...I, uh, I need to use the bathroom."

"But you just went before we left!" Shego protested, exasperated. It had been hard enough just getting him to go to the gym in the first place, and now she just wanted to get started.

"Hmm? Oh, um, I have...explosive diarrhea," Drakken said in a far-away voice, his attention on his target, currently leaning on a weight rack and scratching his crotch as he boasted about something.

Shego turned paler than usual. "Whoa, Doc! TMI. I'm just gonna go and...yeah...start with the bikes..."

"That's nice, Shego," Drakken said absently before he started sidling towards Tony and his friends in an utterly conspicuous way. The only thing missing was a trench coat and sunglasses. If Tony and his pals hadn't been so into themselves, they would've noticed him.

One of them had an enormous, gel-laden pompadour hairstyle, and the other was wearing a pair of bright white sweat pants that were deliberately saggy-- a style that even the hopelessly unhip Drakken knew went out of fashion about a decade ago— showing at least ten inches of his Kelvin Celsius underwear.

In short, they fit their crew cut-headed, hot pink sweat band-wearing pal Tony perfectly.

"—but, anyway, guys, I gotta go drain the lizard, hey?" Tony was saying now, laughing at his own joke and nudging one of his friends in the ribs with his elbow. "Let's do some weights when I get back, okay?"

Drakken held his breath, eyes practically sparkling. Could it be...the perfect chance?

As Tony started to leave, Drakken rubbed his hands, grinning.

Yes...yes it _was_.

He almost let out a hysterical giggle, but managed to control himself.

Strolling casually up to Tony's friends, Drakken slipped two little capsules into his palm before tapping one of the two men on the shoulder. "Hey, look!" He exclaimed with theatrical surprise as he pointed at the other side of the room. "It's Elvis!"

"Huh?" The two men chorused as they turned in the direction he was pointing, utterly befuddled. Drakken took the opportunity to drop the capsules into Tony's water bottle. Finding the right bottle really wasn't hard. Drakken doubted that anybody besides Tony Braggadocio had a water bottle marked "Tony's Bottle, Don't Touch!" and "Property of Tony J. Braggadocio' in big, bright letters.

"Missed him!" Drakken said brightly, before walking away.

"Wow, what a weirdo," Mr. Pompadour said.

"Yeah, how would he ever manage to get a date?" Saggy Pants wondered, wiping his face with his towel.

Drakken hummed to himself as he went to find Shego, secure in the knowledge that two capsules of a _very_ experimental drug were currently dissolving into Tony's water. He wasn't entirely certain what the drug's exact effect would be yet, but what he _did_ know was that they would leave the water clear and normal-looking. Tony would never even know before it was too late...

Ten minutes later, when Drakken and Shego were leisurely treading along on their static bikes, there was an abrupt, high-pitched scream.

Shego's eyes widened in shock and she twisted around on her bike to try to see what was going on.

Drakken only smirked to himself as he kept treading.

"That's not my voice!" Somebody squeaked frantically. "That _can't_ be my voice!"

Another, more normal-sounding voice joined in: "Tony, are you okay?"

"No, I'm _not_, Petey!" Tony blurted out. "I haven't had a date in five years, I'm spending all my money on my secret Cuddle Buddies addiction and I go to this gym to beef up to compensate for my embarrassingly tiny wiener!"

"I thought you said you were dating that blonde babe with the jugs who we met at the bowling alley!" A third voice remarked, sounding disbelieving.

"No, I'm _not_, Frankie! I lie all the time because I'm insecure in my masculinity! The blonde babe gave me the wrong number on purpose! I'm like babe repellent! And today I stole fifty bucks from work so I could afford the new Bumblelion plushie!" By now, Tony was really losing it, and as he started pacing nervously, he came into view of Drakken and Shego.

"You know," Petey, the one with the pompadour, began uncertainly, "This is a very funny joke, Tony, and inhaling helium was a nice touch, but it's enough now. We get it."

"It ain't a joke, Petey! I wear lifts to look taller! And this sweat band covers my bald spot! And sometimes I cry at night after watching scary movies!"

"Tony, calm down," Frankie— Saggy Pants— said, getting desperate as he noticed the unwelcome attention they were getting from the other gym members.

"I won't calm down!" Tony shrilled, looking wild-eyed and sweaty. "The only thing that calms me down is having a tea party with my Cuddle Buddies!"

Shego stared. And stared some more. "Okay, uh, _somebody's _forgotten their Prozac today." She commented slowly. "What's gotten into_ that_ dweeb?"

Drakken's grin was huge and self-content. "My experimental drugs."

Shego turned to him, puzzled. "Huh?"

"Oh, I was developing some pills." He told her, still grinning. "They were supposed to have the same effect as the truth ray, but I hadn't had the chance to test them properly yet for side effects."

Her eyes lit up with malicious glee. "You mean you gave them to that poser without really knowing what they were even gonna _do_…?"

Drakken rubbed his chin, shrugging. "Well, it beats trying it out on my own henchmen."

"Hah!" She exclaimed, slapping his shoulder in incredulous delight. "That's so _evil_!"

"I like to think so, yes," He chuckled. "I need to get rid of the squeaky voice side effect, but in this case...it was perfect."

They watched Tony finally breaking down and running into the men's locker room, sobbing, his friends trailing behind him helplessly.

"See, Shego?" Drakken said, oozing smugness. "I got my revenge, and I didn't have to beat anybody up. I still prefer brains over brawn."

Shego's eyebrow arched immediately. _Oh, really?_

Hah...it looked like it was time for another lesson...and she knew exactly how to give it to him. She'd had a feeling it would come to this, which was why she'd brought him to the gym.

Looking around, Shego finally found the perfect candidate for her little experiment. So she got off of her bike, walked up to him...and kicked his ass.

Literally.

There were two resulting gasps; one from the tall, bulky slab of fat and muscle to whose rear end she'd just delivered a swift kick, and the other from Drakken, whose eyes practically popped out of their sockets over the seemingly unprovoked assault.

"_Shego_!" Drakken hissed, scrambling off of his bike and trying to pull her back by her arm. "What are you thinking? Are you _nuts_?"

The large guy turned around to glare at them, and it was like watching a glacier move.

Shego batted her eyelashes up at the massive man, suddenly radiating virtue and naiveté. "_He_ did it." She said bluntly, pointing at Drakken.

Drakken went slack-jawed. "Wha— hey!"

"Sometimes there's no _time_ for brains, Doc." Shego pointed out innocently. "Now how're you gonna get yourself out of _this_ one?"

The man growled at Drakken. Drakken's gaze slipped unbidden down to the man's chest, where the words _**BIG FUN!**_ were embroidered on his white T-shirt, before it went back up and met the man's eyes. He had the kind of face that made anybody who considered commenting on the T-shirt think twice, and perhaps even made them walk on the other side of the street instead.

"Sheeeegoooo...!" Drakken wailed as the man dragged him away by his T-shirt to have a little conversation between his fists and Drakken's face in a quiet corner. Possibly, Drakken's ass would even have the displeasure of meeting the man's foot.

"You can do it, Grasshopper!" Shego called after him in an almost cheerful tone.

"SHEEEEEGOOOO!"

Shego whistled a tuneless melody to herself as she strolled leisurely towards Drakken and the gym thug.

Drakken gulped. The man now had him backed against a corner. He caught a glimpse of Shego standing a few feet behind the man, but she didn't seem to be planning to help him out. In fact, she looked as if she was standing in line at the supermarket or something; bored, absentminded and waiting.

And sending out a very clear signal: _You're on your own, Dr. D._

Pushing Drakken against a supporting pillar, the large man pulled back his fist, and it seemed like everything went into slow motion for Drakken as he watched the hairy knuckles approaching his nose—

There was a loud crunch.

Drakken tentatively opened his eyes, grimacing. Okay, uh...where was the pain?

Blinking, he looked over at his antagonist and saw the large, sweaty man clutching his hand and grunting in agony...and it dawned on Drakken that he'd instinctively twisted out of the man's grip and dodged his fist...which had hit the pillar instead. _Instinctively_, Drakken mused. Well, that had to be instincts he'd honed the last few weeks with Shego.

So, he thought, mind racing, what else had she taught him?

Oh, right. Show no mercy. It was either him or the other guy.

So he put his leg behind the big man's legs and put his hands on his shoulders, unceremoniously tipping him backwards onto the floor while he was still distracted by the pain in his hand. The big man hit the floor with a resounding thud and lay there groaning, clutching his head.

And didn't seem like he felt like getting up anytime soon. Not to fight, anyway.

Drakken gawked. "That's...it? I beat him?"

Shego just shrugged and grinned. "Most fights aren't all that epic, you know. Most of the time, it's just...getting people out of your way."

His brow rose. "Oh." _Maybe it's true what they say, _Drakken thought. _They bigger they are..._

Nevertheless, Drakken was beaming as they walked to the other side of the gym, a bounce in his step; he felt like he'd just removed lead weights from his shoulders. "That was _easy_!"

Shego smirked; at this rate, he would never get to say 'I told you so'. He was in better shape and he was feeling better about himself; just as she'd promised. "Not bad, Dr. D."

"Not bad?" Drakken hooted. "I was _great_! I kicked butt!"

Shego resisted the urge to roll her eyes; he took to overconfidence like a fish to water. "Now, I figured we could go a few rounds with the ol' tread mill, whaddaya say?"

Drakken's face fell.

* * *

Shego was whistling to herself as she worked on Project Protean. She had her mePod full of tunes, her visor over her eyesand two tanks on her back full of her favorite color, which she'd already covered two thirds of the machine with. _Who needs a step ladder when you have a hover board?_ Shego thought. That was one advantage to working for a mad scientist, anyway. All the cool gadgets.

The mad scientist was out getting lunch for them and wasn't there ranting, though.

So she could act any way she wanted. Chuckling to herself, she flipped through the songs until she found the one she wanted, and pressed play before she lifted the hose and continued spraying the metal surface of the nearly completed Project Protean.

After a few seconds; she sang:

"_Color me your color, baby  
Color me your car  
Color me your color, darling  
I know who you are  
Come up off your color chart  
I know where you're coming from…"_

She whistled a bit, and then she started singing again, increasing the pressure on the hose and enjoying the bright, sharp green of the paint, like…like the color of cartoon poison.

_  
__"…Roll me in designer sheets  
I'll never get enough_

_Emotions come__, I don't know why  
Cover up love's alibi"_

Again, she whistled, before she picked up the singing.

"_Call me, call me any anytime  
Call me for a ride  
Call me, call me for some overtime  
Take me out and show me off  
Put me on the scene—" _

"SHEGO!"

Startled, Shego almost fell off of her hover board when she heard the bellow.

Glaring daggers at Drakken, she ripped her earplugs out. "_WHAT_?" She snapped.

"I've been trying to get your attention for the last two minutes, that's what!" Drakken scolded loudly. "I had to get the speaker I only use for public threats, for Pete's sake! And what was that _awful racket_? Was that supposed to be _singing_? It sounded like you were torturing tone deaf cats by force feeding them porridge!"

Shego's glare intensified. "Gee, thanks! I thought I was _alone_, okay?" She growled, reprehension and embarrassment burning in her voice. "What the heck do ya want, anyway?"

"Oh, never mind! I'm _used_ to you not listening to what I say!" Drakken barked, turning on his heel.

Shego fumed as she picked up the hose, which she'd dropped when he'd startled her. First he scared the life out of her and then insulted her, too? What was his _damage_?

She knew she wasn't a great singer— so what? He didn't have to be that…that _mean_ about it! Maybe she should just spray paint 'Project Dorky' or something all over the machine and leave on an extended vacation,_ that'd_ show him—

Shego groaned loudly.

Ugh, no. She couldn't. Not after all the work she'd put into this, not after all the progress he'd been making…

They'd simply…spent far too much time together, that was all. That's why he was so snappish. They were getting on each other's nerves.

She'd only have to endure this for a few more weeks, though, and he'd be ready.

But what about after that? Shego wondered, her enthusiasm faltering once more. What about after they were done with the training? It wasn't as if she wouldn't still be working for him, it wasn't as if they didn't still have to be around each other on a daily basis…

_Still, then I'll have the weekends off again_, she reminded herself, _then I'll be able to get away for a while, and—_

But what if he asked her again? What if he needed her? Would she be able to say no every time? What if it became a habit, what if he expected her to stick around, and what if she got so used to it that—

Rrggh. All those magazines always said that sidekicking was more than just a job, and it looked like they might be right.

Okay, so…whatever. She wouldn't leave. She'd just…finish painting this stupid machine and….and wait for him to come apologize. As if _that_ would ever happen.

Sighing, she turned on the hose and started spraying again.

Watchfully, Drakken walked through the doorway, carrying a brown paper bag. "Um, Shego…?"

"What?" Shego demanded, but it came out more like a sigh than a snarl this time.

Fidgeting a little, Drakken began to cross the floor. "Sorry about the…uh, singing thing."

Shego was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "I am _so_ tempted to just spray paint you green right now, do you know that?" Shego said tightly.

Surprised, Drakken took a step back. "Don't you dare!" He yelped. "Or I'll take the cleaning bill out of your paycheck!"

Shego rolled her eyes. "Yeesh, I'm not gonna do it. This lovely color would be wasted on you."

Relaxing a little, Drakken moved forward again. "Um…the whistling was actually…very good, though," came the tentative compliment.

"Whoop de doo." Shego drawled sarcastically. "I think I'll quit evil and join the Whistler's Mother's Brother Band on their next tour."

He stared in horror. "Really?"

She groaned and lowered the hover board so she came down to his level. "No, ugh, just…did you get my lunch?"

"Here," he said, handing her a brown paper bag. "I'll just go and…have mine in the kitchen." He added, then, and her tense shoulders descended, a small smile turning up on her face.

"Okay," she agreed, relieved. "And I'll finish the job later."

Drakken gave her a satisfied nod and slipped off to the kitchen.

All right, so maybe they should and _could_ still be alone once in a while even if they were both there, she decided.

Maybe things could work out now that he'd not only realized that, but was acting on it, too.

It was a big lair, after all.

* * *

It took another two weeks for Shego to decide that Drakken had gotten good enough...or 'adequate', as she'd called it. She just loved to rain on his parade.

What exactly he was good enough _for_, Drakken wasn't quite sure of yet. He'd gotten so involved in the training, pulled along by her verbal as well as physical sparring, that he'd almost forgotten to question its purpose.

They were sitting at the table in his lab one late night, discussing what they'd do next, now that he'd gotten— hmmpphh!— _adequate_, but Drakken had the distinct feeling that, unusually, she had her own opinions and her own plan already.

So after he'd spent about five minutes explaining to her in detail how his new and improved doomsday device worked, he leaned across the table to look her in the eyes.

"Well...what do we do now?" He asked expectantly, and could tell that she hadn't anticipated getting the question. He didn't blame her; his plans were usually complete by the time he told her about them, so it wasn't that often that he asked for any significant input from his sidekick.

"Um, well..." Shego cleared her throat. "Now...now it's time for you to fight Kim Possible."

Drakken scooted back in his chair. "F-fight _Kim Possible_?" He gasped. "B-but you said it would be mostly for self defence, and that it was still your job to—"

"Oh, it _is_, and it _will _be my job." Shego gave a feline grin, clearly enjoying herself. "But this time, it's your turn. Just this once. Think of it as your final exam. All you have to do is protect your little doom dohickey."

Drakken made a strangled sound of objection. What had he gotten himself into? Why was he even doing this at all? "I didn't know I'd have to do this! I didn't want to—"

"Well, we have to test you at _some _point, don't we?" She wheedled.

"W-well, what about that guy at the gym? I beat _him_, didn't I?" Drakken reminded her desperately. "Isn't that enough testing?"

Shego snorted. "Oh, please, that was just small potatoes! Besides, after training you all these weeks, I want to see the result of my work in action, out on the field— or else, what would be the point?" She ventured in a level, meaningful tone, pinning him with her gaze.

"I'm not here for your entertainment!" Drakken barked. "That's _dangerous_!"

Shego gave his cheek a little pinch, then, her voice turning honeyed. "Aww, come on, Dr. D— it'll be okay, you can do it! I'll be _right_ _there_ to help you if something goes wrong!"

Studying Shego's avid, cajoling and hopeful expression, Drakken got an inkling why he was still doing this again. Shego's wishes usually came in the forms of ultimatums: _Do this, or I won't do that. If you do that, I'll do this back at you. _And so on.

This time, however, there was no ultimatum. No threat. It was just her asking him to do something she wanted, and even making promises to make him agree.

She usually didn't ask for much, he realized now. Outside of making sure he honored her contract— especially its vacation and pay check rules and 'No Cloning' clause— which _he'd_ agreed to and had drawn up in the first place, she didn't ask for much. She just followed her orders, and while she might mock or object, she usually went with what he decided, anyway, and didn't try to demand things for herself.

But now she was asking, and it was dawning on him that somewhere between the lines was an unspoken word.

_Please. _

She really wanted this. As a villain. As a teacher. As a...whatever it was. Shego was always hard to understand.

He sighed exasperatedly, rubbing his cheek; it was also hard to say no when she was being so atypically supportive. "Well...how do we draw her out, then?"

"Easy," Shego said, leaning forward in an almost conspiratorial way.

"How so?" He asked, getting curious.

"We'll just kidnap her little _boyfriend_." She told him matter-of-factly.

Drakken's eyes widened before a sinister grin spread across his face. It was direct and simple; maybe it was time for him to try that approach for once. "Sounds like a plan."

Shego's grin matched his. "Just leave it to me. I have it _all _figured out..."

_**TBC.**_

* * *

**Author's note:** Drakken slipping experimental drugs into the beverages of somebody rude is an old, old thing that was originally a part of _Maslow_ last spring, until I decided to cut it from _Maslow_ and make it a part of its own story...which was then scrapped. And here, finally, the idea resurfaces. Recycle, dudes. Don't delete your old ideas, because you never know when they might come in handy. :P

I hadn't figured out what kind of effect the drugs would have yet, but **Marvolo Cassius** suggested 'high-pitched voice' and it just started rolling from there. XD Thanks, Marv. Good luck with you-know-what. TT

A big **thank you** to my beta, **Charlotte C**. There was a lot of back and forth with the chapter this time, but you helped me, and you replied quickly to all my emails, too.

**Tony Braggadocio:** Yes, yes, I know...a classic example of an insecure macho poser. Tony is just a one-shot character and I'm not going to develop him beyond the walking cliché that he's portrayed as in this story.

**Kelvin Celsius:** Calvin Klein. Just made it up. :P

**Grasshopper:** What Master Kan calls his student Caine in some old Kung Fu movies I've never seen, but seen parodied a million times.

"**Hey, look! It's Elvis!"— "Missed him!"** is an old joke, but in this case I was inspired by an episode of _Beetlejuice_ called _Bewitched, Bothered and Beetlejuiced._

**Bumblelion:** One of the characters from the old Disney cartoon called The Wuzzles, who was half bee, half lion. The concept of The Wuzzles seems pretty much the same as Cuddle Buddies, so I just stole a name from there.

'**BIG FUN!' T-shirt:** Stolen from the movie _Heathers_, starring Winona Ryder and Christian Slater.

**mePod:** iPod. I think I saw somebody call iPods this in some KP fic at some point. So I'm relatively sure I didn't come up with the idea.

**Shego's song:** _Call Me_ by Blondie. It's old, but I figured Shego might like the lead singer Debbie Harry. She has some attitude. Besides, as Shego might say: "_This_ is a _classic_!" XD And yes (for those who've seen it already), Shego's bad singing voice returns from the drabble I wrote in the D/S shippy thread at RS Net. :P

**Shego's hover board:** The one she used in _Two To Tutor_.

**Whistler****'s Mother's Brother Band:** Just something I made up. Obviously named after the famous _Whistler's Mother_ painting by James McNeill _Whistler_.

* * *


	6. Bean Sprouts

**Happy Hill of Beans**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary: **A little tale about confidence. Set post-_Odds Man In, _but doesn't rule out the following episodes. Drakken/Shego. General/humor/drama/friendship/romance.

* * *

**Bean Sprouts**

* * *

Drakken paced anxiously back and forth in his lab.

Shego was out kidnapping the buffoon, and she'd insisted on going alone. He didn't doubt Shego's abilities to take care of herself, but still...it _was _Kim Possible's boyfriend. She certainly wouldn't be very happy about him going missing.

Honestly, he didn't know why she'd been so pigheaded about having to go alone! What was her deal, anyway? Did she just think he'd get in her way or what?

Stupid sidekick! Here he'd been training for weeks, and yet she wouldn't even bring him along for something as simple as a kidnapping?

_Oh, I __bet she's just doing one of her lone wolf, independent villainess sort of things just to spite me or just to look cool or—_

He halted, groaning as he pulled at his gloves in concern.

It wasn't just your average break-and-enter job at some old museum! It was kidnapping their _arch foe's boyfriend_!

What if _Shego_ had been captured? What if—

"Hey, Dr. D...I brought you a little gift."

Drakken whirled around on the spot, relief coursing through him in warm waves as he caught sight of Shego, sauntering towards him with a tied-up buffoon slung across her shoulder in a fireman's carry, a smug smirk gracing her face. And somehow, it dawned on him that she'd wanted to do it alone because maybe kidnapping the buffoon for him was a reward for being a good student.

The thought almost made him laugh from its absurdity— getting a hostage was a far cry from the gold stars the teachers had given out at school— but at the same time, it made him feel strangely flattered.

"How did you...?" He asked, impressed.

"I kidnapped him when he was away from his lil' bodyguard— shovelling down cheese and meat at Bueno Nacho. Happy St. Patrick's Day, Merry Christmas..." She said playfully, dropping the boy unceremoniously on the floor with a thump, causing him to groan. "Or whatever you feel like celebrating," she went on, giving the captive's leg a little kick.

"Hey, oowww!" Ron objected. "You already kidnapped me when I was_ just_ about to sink my teeth into a Grande sized naco! When will the torture end?"

"Mentioning the word 'torture' around super villains probably isn't the best idea there, Sport," Shego drawled, looking down at him patronizingly.

The boy's mouth snapped shut and his eyes went round at the mental images her comment was obviously giving him— would give _anybody_, really— but it didn't take him long to grow stupidly defiant again. "You know, I'm sure there's something in some Villain Handbook somewhere about how it's not allowed to give your hostages rope burn," he remarked, scowling at them.

Shego gave him a bored look and picked him up again, pushing him up against a large metal pole they'd put up for the occasion, complete with dramatic lighting and everything, and tied him to it with some more rope.

Ron grunted, wriggling uncomfortably in his ropes. "Didn't you_ just_ kidnap me, like, a couple of months ago or something?" He complained.

"We didn't kidnap you!" Drakken barked as he walked towards him. "You stumbled right into our lair like a nitwit because you thought it was a university."

Shego snorted. "Yeah, you'd sorta _think_ the giant statue of Dr. D shoulda given it away, huh?"

Ron hesitated at that, but only briefly. "Okay, yeah...but there was definite tying me up to a pole and gloating going on then, too! Total déjà vu, here! You people are getting repetitive." Ron said, clucking his tongue.

"Oh, yes?" Drakken sneered. "Well, _here's_ a change for you— Shego!" He spun around, calling for his sidekick. "_Gag _him!"

"With pleasure, Doc!" Shego smirked, stepping forward with some duct tape from a drawer in Drakken's worktop. "Why haven't we thought of _that_ before?"

Drakken looked pensive. "Hmmm...other than the times when we've wanted to interrogate them, I really can't imagine why. I mean, ranting would be _so_ much easier if they weren't interrupting me all the ti—"

"Noooo! Not _duct tape_!" Ron wailed. "Do you have _any_ idea how much that hurts when you try to pull it off later? You'll rip my lips off!"

Shego gave him a blank stare. "Uh, yeah...hostages? They _really_ don't get much say when it comes to gagging methods, Blondie."

"Well, you know...they _so_ should?" Ron went on snippily. "Just because it's no skin off _your_ nose— or more like lips, actually—"

Shego slapped a length of tape across the boy's babbling mouth. "Right, right, right...maybe you should send an angry letter about that to somebody who actually _cares_." She told him dryly, putting on some more tape.

Drakken sighed, enjoying the sudden lack of noise. "Ah, _much_ better."

"Yeah, from now on, we should make it company policy." Shego nodded, chuckling.

To her mild surprise, Drakken laughed. It wasn't often that they laughed together. "Indeed!"

"Hey," Shego said almost excitedly, getting into the moment of the thing, "_Here's_ another novel idea, huh?" She went on, advancing on the blond sidekick. "How about...we take care of _this_ thing?" She suggested, reaching into the boy's pocket and pulling out the sleeping naked mole rat. She made a face as the rodent awoke and squirmed in her grip. "Ugh, good thing I'm wearing gloves!" She shuddered.

"The pink weasel thing? Yes, let's put that out of the game! It's always...chewing on my doomsday devices!" Drakken agreed, lip curling in disgust with the unpleasant memories. "Good job, Shego," he added, nodding at her.

She gave a brief grin in return.

The blond boy's eyes went wide and shocked, and they could hear muffled yells coming from behind the duct tape.

Drakken walked over to him with an eerie grin that was only growing larger with each step. "Oh, don't worry," he purred, leaning closer to the distressed boy, voice like steel and silk, "we won't hurt it..._too_ much."

Despite herself, Shego felt a thrill go down her back. He was almost never like this— he almost never actually looked..._truly_ evil and frightening. He was always so awkward and bumbling and forgetful and easily distracted and— or maybe, even if he could be like that sometimes, he wasn't _that_ bad at being bad. She just had trouble being impressed by the guy when he did his looming, supposedly threatening villain routine, because _she _knew what he looked like off the clock.

Because _she_ knew that he threw hissy fits if somebody ate the rest of the peanut butter, that he sometimes wore fluffy slippers if she bumped into him at odd hours of the day and that he snored like a chainsaw when he fell asleep on the couch...

Because _she_ knew how he acted around his mama, and that he hummed game show tunes to himself when he thought nobody was listening...

...and yeah, all that kind of stole away some of the mystery that a villain needed to complete their image.

But now...well, for a moment, he'd actually looked and sounded like what he probably only _thought_ he usually looked and sounded like when he threatened his hostages. Or maybe what he looked and sounded like to other people who didn't know all those things about him.

Maybe there was hope for him yet.

"So," she said, getting slightly intrigued. "What are you gonna do with the pink pest here?" She asked, holding the naked mole rat out in front of him.

Drakken straightened his back, looking at her. "Hmmm..." He frowned, scratching his jaw pensively, before his eyes lit up. "Oh! I have _just_ the thing!"

"What?" Shego followed after him as he beckoned her across the large room.

"Here, I made it when I was bored at lunch a couple of weeks ago." He said with a flourish as he pointed to a device on his work bench. "Ta-dah! It's a small generator that will power the microwave."

Shego blinked, then gave him an odd look. "Uh, I don't think I get it."

"Observe!" Drakken declared, taking the rodent from her and placing it in a small hamster wheel in a cage. "This wheel is hooked up to the generator, and when the weasel runs—" He explained, poking the naked mole rat with a screw driver, "--when the weasel _runs_, I said," he ordered, poking it again until it reluctantly started running. "When it runs, it works the generator, which in turn powers the microwave." Drakken went on, looking self-content. "And if I make a few alterations _here_..." He mumbled, leaning over the device. Shego craned her neck to see what he was doing, but her view was obscured by his broad frame.

"_And_?" She prodded, getting impatient as he worked.

"..._and_ now the weasel thing has no _choice_ but to run," Drakken said, leaning back so she could see. "Because if it doesn't, it will receive a nice little electric shock." He added, grinning wickedly.

As if on cue, the rodent squeaked loudly as his speed decreased and a small electrical current ran through the wheel and the rat. It squeaked again and ran for its life— seemingly literally.

Shego gave a weird little sound in her throat, part amusement and part disbelief.

A litany of muffled yells and curses started up from Stoppable, who was twisting and turning in his ropes, a fierce grimace on his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I can't quite seem to make out what you're saying," Drakken said with a sly smirk. "But seeing as you're such a…_captive audience_, and we have a few minutes to spare, I suppose I _could_ tell you about my latest project…"

Shego rolled her eyes, but she was smiling just a little. Here came the ranting, right on cue. She was gonna let it slide just this once, though, since she was in such a good mood.

Stoppable groaned and settled down again, seeing as there was really nothing he could do.

"This, buffoon, is Project Protean!" Drakken declared, throwing his arms wide as he displayed his new machine. "It has a thousand and one uses!" He halted for a second before he ploughed on again: "Okay, probably more like a dozen, but still! With this, I can bend time and space to my will! I can use supersonic waves to disrupt…things! And if I so wish, I can eradicate an entire planet! And I can— what now?"

Ron had started objecting again, and Drakken frowned at his hostage's unintelligible comments. Now he was actually starting to wonder what the buffoon was trying to say. Maybe he was impressed…or frightened? Well, nothing like striking a little fear in the hearts of his enemies to boost the ol' villain ego. Quickly, he ripped the duct tape from the boy's mouth.

"Ooowwww!" Ron wailed, but rallied surprisingly quickly with a curious: "Isn't 'protein' kind of a weird name? It makes no sense! And hey, didn't Dementor use that time machine thing, like, just a few weeks ago?"

Drakken growled and slapped the tape back on the buffoon's face, effectively shutting him up. "No…I think you'll find that was something _completely_ _different_!" He said sourly, glaring. "And it's pro-tee-uhn! Not pro-teen!"

"Oh, he's just miffed because we're torturing the hairless hamster," Shego interjected hastily, not wanting to have the mood ruined completely— and luckily, it seemed to distract Drakken.

"True!" Laughing a short version of his mad scientist laugh, Drakken walked over to the microwave that was powered by the distressed pet, throwing its door open.

He turned his head to Shego, flapping a hand at the microwave in invitation. "Grilled cheese sandwich, Shego?" He asked, adding viciously: "I'm sure I can make the little pest run faster."

She almost laughed with delight. There was that strangely impressive grin again, and the unusually suave voice, filled with gravel and honey and malicious intent and promises of evil. Why wasn't he like this more often? This was becoming almost…fun. Unpredictable.

Okay, so he was acting more like a creepy little boy playing with ants and a magnifying glass than a real super villain, but she'd had a bone to pick with the annoying little pet for years now…and besides, she was more concerned with what would come later than worrying about the lameness of wasting time gloating over small potatoes like torturing a pink rodent. And she was almost getting confident that he could do what she'd been training him to do.

"Hah, no," she shook her head, squelching a snicker. "Maybe later. Don't wanna fight on a full stomach, eh?"

Drakken's grin faltered a little at that. "Uh…yes." He mumbled, wringing his hands. For a brief moment, he'd almost forgotten all about that. About what they were here to do. What _he_ was here to do. That Kim Possible might burst into their lair at any minute now.

Drakken bit his lip as he could feel himself starting to sweat just a little. Why hadn't they just rented the timeshare lair or something instead? The place was going to get trashed tonight, and it was his favorite lair, too--

Nnnggh, this was never going to— how could he have let Shego talk him into—

He drew a deep breath and glanced at Shego, worried that she might be picking up on his…well, worry, but she was busy smirking at the sight of the pink rodent running frantically in its wheel.

Transfixed for a moment by her amused expression, he swallowed, listening to the small chuckle that rose from her throat as she tossed her long, dark hair and glanced smugly at Kim Possible's angry sidekick, his curses muffled behind the layers of duct tape.

He liked the sound of her laughter. He liked her pleased expression. He rarely got to see and hear them, and found that he'd like to experience it more often.

"Yes, Shego," he heard himself say, and his voice sounded oddly unlike his own. "We should get ready."

Lately, for some reason, it had been getting more and more important not to let Shego down. She just...she'd been working so hard with him, for him, and he wasn't used to that. Oh, she'd been her usual self, of course, with the wisecracks and the unforgiving sternness, never easily impressed, but...she'd been so...well, eager. Actually _interested_, for once.

And today, Shego seemed more enthusiastic and cooperative than usual, not to mention just a little less sarcastic, and he suddenly wondered if maybe it was because it was actually sort of _her _plan this time around. She was the one who'd come up with kidnapping the buffoon, she was the one who'd decided how everything was supposed to play out once Kim Possible got here—

And, he added, squirming mentally with a wave of unexpected guilt, maybe it was because he was actually _listening_ to her for once.

He paused for a second as he wondered if perhaps they could have succeeded sooner if they were both more considerate towards each other, were better at working together as a team— but then he concluded that it was water under the bridge. No use wasting time with regrets, was there?

He had more important things to tend to.

"Okay, Doc," Shego agreed, brushing a hand through her hair. "I'm gonna go somewhere Kimmie can't see me but I can see you both. I bet she'll be here any minute—"

Drakken faltered again, torn out of his thoughts. "But Shego—" He began, and nearly cringed as Shego gave a sharp sigh; he could tell that she wasn't happy about his hesitation, which she would probably consider 'whining'. It was just that training with Shego and facing the real thing were two very different things, and it was hard to avoid being a little nervous. She had to know that, right?

"Dr. D," Shego said sternly, trying not to get irritated; giving his shoulder a quick, bracing squeeze with her hand. "I'm officially _not here_, remember? Just like we agreed, right?"

Drakken frowned nervously, but nodded. She didn't look like she was in any mood to comfort him. "Fine, yes. Like we agreed." He said, trying to get a grip.

Shego nodded as well. "Good. Now...just be ready. I'll keep watch and step in the second things get out of hand."

"Promise?" He asked, somewhat timidly, and she was torn between wanting to groan because of his sudden attack of little boy face and feeling oddly gratified because he was actually willing to follow her lead just this once. She hoped he'd be able to pull himself together before the cheerleader came for a visit— where was the Drakken from before, anyway? The one who'd seemed so sure of himself that he'd actually seemed intimidating?

"Rrgh, you—" She groaned, letting her shoulders down; refusing to get mad. "I'll be right up there, okay?" She promised, pointing.

Drakken cleared his throat, looking mildly embarrassed. "Okay. Yes. Right."

Shego watched him walk a little reluctantly across the floor to stand by his newly assembled doomsday device. She sighed in defeat. "Dr. D?" She called after him.

He turned to look at her. "Yes?"

"Hey, um...good luck, huh?" She said awkwardly, trying to sound encouraging. She'd never been very good at this sort of stuff. She'd always believed in the iron fist. She'd never had any patience for the silk glove.

But apparently, it had helped, because Drakken nodded, drawing himself up and moving with slightly more resolve towards the machine.

* * *

Shego had barely made it to her hiding place before Kim Possible arrived.

Usually, Shego reflected, Possible would sneak in, but sometimes, when she was provoked and in the mood for a confrontation, she'd just waltz in like she owned the place; demanding attention.

Now she was coming through a high window— not even shattering it dramatically; she'd simply opened it, probably with one of her annoyingly convenient little gadgets— leaping down to the floor with her usual cheerleader grace.

For a moment, as Possible surveyed her surroundings and Drakken stared at her in slight surprise, the only audible sound in the lab was the squeak of the hamster wheel and the whimpers and pants as the little pink rodent frantically tried to avoid getting zapped again.

"Hey, Ron," Kim said almost calmly as she caught sight of her boyfriend, tied up and gagged. "You okay?"

"Mmmpphh! Nnnpppkk!"

A brief, exasperated smile zipped across Possible's face. "Just nod, Ron." She told him mildly, following her boyfriend's urgent gaze; a frown flickered across her face when she saw Rufus.

Looking back at Ron, she saw that her boyfriend nodded— he was okay— and, apparently satisfied with that, she turned her attention back to Drakken.

"Where's Shego today, Drakken?" The teen challenged him, as she walked over to the hamster cage and pulled Rufus out of the wheel, which was practically smoking by now; Rufus flopped in her hand, panting and groaning in exhaustion and pain. "Don't tell me...did she _ditch_ you again?"

Drakken shut his eyes for second, his jaw clenching. The brat just _had_ to remind him of that, didn't she? "No," he said coldly, "she's on vacation. Not that it's any of _your_ business."

"Awww, too bad," Kim said in a falsely sweet voice. "And here I wanted to catch up on the latest gossip over a nice cup of tea and everything."

"Well, Shego's not here, so I guess we'll have to make do without her," Drakken said, starting to feel jittery. "What do you want?"

"Oh, same old song and dance...save my boyfriend from evil, yadda yadda," Kim said almost casually, putting Rufus down on an available surface before absentmindedly patting his head. "By the way, how nice of you to get Rufus a brand new cage, but unfortunately he already has a home." Kim informed him, eyes narrowing. "In my _boyfriend's_ pocket. And Rufus wants his home back, and his owner, so I think you'd better do what he says, or _Rufus_ might get _mad_." She added in a tight voice.

Drakken scoffed. "What do I care whether some stupid weasel gets—"

Kim cracked her knuckles loudly, walking towards Drakken with an expression so grim and hard it looked like it was carved out of stone.

"—mad?" Drakken gulped, taking a step back. "Oh." Apparently, Possible _really_ hadn't appreciated having her boyfriend held captive _again— _that, and it looked like she hadn't been having a very good day to begin with.

"Yeah, did I mention that you're not exactly gonna be on _my_ Christmas card list this year, either?" Kim chirped sarcastically, her hands clenching to fists.

For a second, Drakken froze, struck immobile with performance pressure; staring wide-eyed at his arch foe, who'd caused him physical pain many a time before.

Yes, for a second, it was as if he'd forgotten everything that Shego had taught him the past few weeks, much like the kids in his class in high school when they described how their mind simply went blank during a test, even if they'd studied properly beforehand.

He'd never had that problem in school. He always did well on tests…but this still felt more like a test or an exam than a regular plan; a test he might not do well on, for once.

Maybe it felt like that because he knew he had his teacher, Shego, to answer to afterwards in a whole different way than usual if he did very badly. Usually, he didn't care about her disappointment after a plan had gone south— well, of course he felt a little stupid and embarrassed, and her words could be hurtful and annoying, but it was nothing like this. This was important to her. He wasn't even paying her for this, so he didn't even have that excuse— _'Hey, what are __**you**__ complaining about? You got __**paid**__, didn't you?'— _to defend himself with.

No...now it would just be a humiliating, disappointing failure. And this time, Shego would probably feel like she'd failed as an evil teacher, too.

And yes, of course..._hello_ to the physical pain if he didn't defend himself. He'd seen Shego get beaten by Possible, and it never looked very pleasant. He'd never envied her for that job.

"Gah," Drakken gulped again, starting to regret everything. There was _no way_ this was going to end well.

Shego held her breath and leaned forward in her spectator's seat, as it were, cursing mentally as she silently ordered him to _movemovemovedo__**anything**__just__**move**_, as if she had some sort of hokey telepathic link with him.

Drakken clenched his jaw muscles, frowning. No, he couldn't give up. Not after all that, not after weeks of being put through the wringer by Shego. He couldn't let her be right, couldn't let her gloat— and oh, how she'd gloat— or worse; simply be exasperated and let down and look at him with contempt and hurt for not even having _tried_ when she'd spent so much time teaching him.

Besides, the training had taken so much time and energy that the world domination scheme was only a half-hearted attempt in any case. What this _really _was about was facing Kim Possible; he could finally admit it to himself now. It wasn't about world domination. So he _had_ to do this, or the whole thing would be pointless.

When Kimmie took another step forward, it was like some sort of spell broke, and Shego clenched her fists in anticipation as she watched her student go— quite subtly, almost as if just shrugging his shoulders— into the deceptively relaxed pose she'd taught him. The stance of somebody who had their guard up, who was ready for a fight.

And if Shego was any judge, the cheerleader didn't even notice.

Shego smirked appreciatively.

Oh, yeah, this was going to be _good_.

"Give up, Drakken!" Kim's voice boomed in the vast room. "Shego's not even here, and you_ know_ that you _so _can't beat me alone!"

Drakken, too concentrated on trying to see what her next move would be, didn't answer. All he did was glare, a small grunt escaping him.

The way Princess shifted her weight around a little, her frame tensing, told Shego that Drakken's unusual lack of gloating or ranting or at least some kind of retort had made the girl somewhat uneasy. She obviously thought he was planning something.

However, she had no chance of knowing exactly _what_. She'd never see it coming.

Drakken backed away, putting his hand on the lever of the doomsday device that would power it up.

"Get away from the machine, Drakken," Kim said slowly.

"No. No, I don't think I will," Drakken answered haughtily, only tightening his grip on the lever.

Kim Possible sighed, rolling her eyes in her familiar teen fashion, as if he was simply somebody who was completely out of the fashion loop, and took a quick step up to her arch nemesis, grabbing his arm to pry it away from the lever. It was a little more direct than she usually was, but he supposed she was feeling cocky just because Shego wasn't around— which made him feel indignant, suddenly. What, as if he was just all harmless without her?

Pursing his lips, a scowl darkening his look, he twisted his arm out of her grip in one of the first moves that Shego had ever taught him.

Kim Possible blinked, raising an eyebrow at him, but only tried to grab his arm again.

Which he was having nothing of, he decided, as he grabbed her arm, pulled her sharply towards himself and then sidestepped, so she stumbled past him ungracefully, like a bull skidding past a bullfighter's red cape.

Kim spun around, staring at him, setting her jaw with determination. Then she cart wheeled across the floor, doing a perfect flip at the end that unsettled Drakken, who took a step back, away from the cheerleader acrobatics.

When Kim threw the first punch, however, to his own and apparently also to her surprise, he blocked it with his arm, almost as if on pure instinct. It didn't hurt too much, and that either meant that Kim was a lot weaker than Shego, or that Shego just hadn't been very merciful with him while they were training, never pulling her punches— getting him _used to_ the real thing.

Kim punched again, and again he blocked—

Punch, block, punch, block—

Drakken was starting to recognize the rhythm of the sparring he'd done with Shego; the moves weren't completely similar, but the _rhythm_ was the same, almost predictable—

Punch, block, punch, punch, block, block, faster and faster, until—

Kim kicked out, and he pulled back, the rush of air grazing his skin as he barely avoided her leg hitting his face—

Now it wasn't a sort of stand-still thing anymore, now they were dancing around in wider circles, as Drakken added his own legs to the mix and they both had to avoid each other's kicks—

Kim flung a snap kick at him that hit his side, and he grunted with the impact, but he swung around and hit _her_ side, too, right back at her. Compared to the way _Shego_ had kicked him during their training, this wasn't anything he couldn't take.

Kim hung back a little, her brow furrowing and lips tightening, as if she was sizing up her opponent. Drakken could hear himself panting softly, a thin layer of sweat on his forehead, and cursed silently as he realized the significant age difference between himself and his enemy was starting to make its presence known. He was in good shape, yes, but she was— what, seventeen, eighteen?— in much better shape. Gritting his teeth, he wondered how long he'd be able to keep fighting.

There was a brief silence as Kim studied him and he tried to catch his breath.

"What _are_ you?" Kim frowned. "Are you— you're a _synthodrone_, aren't you? Drakken and Shego are around here somewhere, aren't they? Watching us?"

"Hah!" Drakken laughed, throwing his head back for a second. "Afraid not! I'm just good old Dr. Drakken!"

"Yeah, _right_," Kim gritted, snatching up the screwdriver that Drakken had poked the naked mole rat with earlier and—

Drakken howled with shock and pain as Kim Possible stabbed his arm with the screwdriver.

Kim staggered back, yelping as she saw blood on his arm, before he covered the wound with his hand, clutching it tightly. "Um, okay..." She said slowly, dropping the screwdriver. "_So_ not a synthodrone..."

Shego had to clap a hand over her own mouth to keep from shouting and revealing her position. She growled as she watched Drakken writhing and groaning. _That little— that brat, that—!_

She wanted so badly to step in and kick the stuffing out the cheerleader for what she'd done, but something was holding her back, and she realized that there was this...this _need_, still, to see if he could make it, if he could do better, only it was more powerful now— and she started wondering, distractedly, what it was, and why she suddenly needed him to...to measure up somehow...and it wasn't even about fighting as much as it was about _trying_, about _listening_ to her, about _proving_ something—

It was over now, she thought, cursing silently to herself, Dr. D had never been good at pain, and he'd certainly never expected the cheerleader to go and stab him like that. He was gonna give up now, he—

"L-look," Kim stammered, starting to seem anxious; obviously the girl wasn't used to actually drawing blood when she fought. "I'm sorry, I didn't know— I thought you were a—"

POW!

Kim gave a choked little gasp and stumbled backwards, swaying on her feet and finally actually _falling_ from the force of the kick that none other than Dr. Drakken had just delivered to her face.

Again, Shego had to put her hand over her mouth to keep from making a sound. _Holy moly...!_

There was a bright, warm flash of pride in Shego's chest as she swore she could almost feel the kick as keenly as if she'd done it herself. There! Pow! And right in her face! And her lip actually split! And the cheerleader was even bleeding a little! And the _look_ on her face...!

Shock.

Complete and utter disbelief.

Shego couldn't remember ever having felt anything as satisfying as this when it came to vengeance. Even if she hadn't actually executed it herself, she was the one who'd taught Drakken that. It was _her_ doing.

It almost made up for being knocked into that tower. Almost.

Touching her face, Kim's fingers came back wet. Kim stared at the small, red stains on her fingers, then looked back up at Drakken, who seemed equal parts surprised and angry, clutching his own arm again.

Kimmie got to her feet, never the quitter, but to Shego's great delight, Drakken immediately brought the teen down again with a low, sweeping kick even as she was getting up, her chin hitting the floor with a dull thud. He didn't even give her a chance to rise to her feet; it was fighting dirty and taking advantage of every chance he saw at winning, and she loved it.

_This _was how villains were supposed to fight!

In a real battle, you didn't wait for the other guy to regain their balance, you just kept on coming. It was either them or you, after all. That's what she'd taught him.

Again, Kim Possible tried to get up. This time, she was quicker, and managed to get to her feet, but he punched her shoulder, sending her staggering backwards.

Drakken's winning streak was over then, however, because it seemed like Kimmie had stopped being surprised and had stopped underestimating him. Shego knew that the cheerleader could tell that it hadn't just been by sheer luck that Drakken had done that— he'd been trained, and it showed.

Shego was already running towards them, her plasma igniting, when Kim knocked Drakken over with a viciously fast roundhouse kick, sending him flying.

* * *

Kimmie was running away, carrying her beloved sidekick on her back.

Lying on the floor, next to a stack of boxes she'd broken with her back on impact, Shego was wondering why the sidekick was suddenly unconscious— then grinned weakly as she realized it must've been Drakken. While she'd been busy fighting Princess, Dr. D must've gotten into a fight with the boy after the mole rat had released him and he'd been trying to help his little girlfriend.

Shego's eyes went wide as she realized that Possible was also clutching in her hand what looked suspiciously like one of the smaller components of Dr. D's doom machine; she was sure she'd seen something like that when they'd had all the pieces spread across his lab to assemble the Temporal Decelerator. Flux-something-or-other, he'd said. She'd just thought of it as 'the yellow glowy thing'.

Moaning, Shego struggled to move, to get up and make another half-assed attempt at stopping the two teens from escaping, but then somebody was rushing at her from behind, pulling her up from the floor and setting her on her feet.

Turning around, she met Dr. D's eyes. They were big and bright and practically _shining_ with pride, despite the fact that his face was covered in little bruises.

"Did you see that? Did you _see_ that?" He demanded giddily, shaking her by the shoulders a little. "I mean, you _saw _that, right?"

Shego laughed uncertainly at his overwhelming enthusiasm. "Yeah, I saw. You did well, Dr. D."

"Right? _Right_?" Drakken laughed out loud, punching the air. "POW! BANG! BIFF! Hah! I really got her good! _And_ her sidekick!" He added, but then a more serious expression stole across his face, and he frowned, rubbing his chin.

"Of course, Mother wouldn't have approved of me hitting a girl, and I suppose it was a little— oh, who _cares_, anyway?" He blurted, waving the temporary guilt away. "I'm evil! I can do whatever I want! She had it coming! Do you _know_ how many times they've trashed my lairs? Do you _know_?_ I_ do, because I've _counted_! _Fifty-seven_, that's how many!"

Shego cleared her throat delicately. "Yeah, um, about that...did you notice that the lair is still standing?"

"I know!"

"How could—?"

Drakken chuckled, shaking his head. "Isn't it _funny_? You know...I was actually so concentrated on fighting that I forgot to even turn the doomsday device _on_? And of course it can't really overload and explode when it's not _on_!"

Shego stared. "Well...that's sorta...anticlimactic. I mean, we spent all that time building that thing, and you end up not even—" Shego shook her head, starting to feel somewhat dizzy. "I don't get it, Doc...Kim Possible beat us up, she and her sidekick got away, and they stole that...that yellow flux thingy from your project! What are you so darn _optimistic_ about?"

"Oh, Shego, she may have won the battle, but we can still win the war!" He enthused. "And did you see the look on her face? Did you see when she fell? That was _so_ worth it! Besides, if the Flux Capacitor has been stolen, I can just order a replacement part, anyway, and it's not like any of the other doomsday devices have been damaged." He added, laughing again.

Shego blinked as she watched him go on and on about the whole thing; there was the usual malicious glee, of course, but he also looked genuinely…pleased?

Happy?

She was not an easy person to impress, and it was a mystery to her how somebody could be that happy over something that small.

But then she supposed that after so many years of being defeated, it must've felt somewhat cathartic to be able to surprise Kim Possible again and get back at her, if even only a little.

And it looked like she'd given him hope that things could get even better the next time.

For a brief moment, she flushed a little with the unusual, embarrassingly bubbly sensation of having Dr. D look at her like that just because of something _she'd_ done— he never seemed to be content with anything she did very often.

As a villainess, she was used to people being angry at her, even scared of her. As a woman, she was used to appreciative leers from men. What she was _not _used to was somebody looking at her as if she was sugar and spice and everything nice and the greatest thing since that huge outlet sale on annihilation rays.

"You're the _best,_ Shego!" Drakken exclaimed joyfully, and before she could react, he'd picked her up, spun her around, captured her in a squishy hug and planted a quick kiss right on her lips, a shiver of shock blasting down her spine and a rush of warmth roaring in her stomach, chest and head.

The whole thing only lasted for about three or four seconds, but when he dropped her, he himself seemingly unfazed, she found that she could barely stand on her feet. The tight bear hug had put her off balance and the kiss had put her _mentally_ off balance— _what the heck was that?_

"We'll be back, Shego!" He shouted. "Meaner, faster, better! We'll be back!"

"Um, Doc?" She asked feebly. "Are you okay? I mean, you're sorta bleeding a little..."

"Oh?" Drakken glanced down at his arm. "Oh, right— well, don't worry about that, my lab coat is thick and the screwdriver was blunt, so it didn't do much damage." He said, shrugging.

Shego looked at him incredulously. Normally, Dr. D would've been whining for attention over the 'ouchie'; she suspected that once he got over the adrenaline rush, he probably _would_, too. "Uh, but shouldn't you get it looked at? I mean, that screwdriver couldn't have been very clean—"

"Your concern is touching, Shego, but I'll take care of it," he reassured her, actually patting her arm in a comforting manner, as if _she_ was the one who'd just been stabbed.

As he jogged off merrily, humming to himself, she took a deep breath, shakily making her way over to the old couch and slumping down into it.

Now that was just…disturbing. They'd lost again, and yet his ego was looking none the worse for wear.

She jumped a little when music— what sounded suspiciously like Tom Jones— started up in the next room, Drakken singing along to it, occasionally off-key but not sounding like he cared at all about what he sounded like. Then he started whistling, and she heard the sound of enthusiastic welding.

She sat on the couch for a few minutes, frowning deeply at the floor. The welding and the whistling came to an abrupt stop, then, and there was a short moment of silence except for the vocal stylings of Mr. Tom Jones. Despite herself, she tensed up as she heard footsteps crossing the floor. When Drakken popped his head into the room again, he looked a little less peppy; in fact, he looked downright apprehensive.

"Uh…" He gave an awkward, apologetic sort of half-grin. "Sorry about that. Got caught up in the moment."

Yeesh! Wasn't it _just_ like him to be so absent-minded? She wanted to make a witty, disarming retort, like 'I sure hope you didn't do _that _to your teachers back in high school,' or maybe 'Next time, just bring me an apple, will ya?', but found that her mouth wasn't quite obeying her brain. So instead, Shego made sure to send him the best glare she could muster up. "Yeah, well…just don't do it again." She managed.

Drakken relaxed visibly as he apparently realized he'd been let off the hook.

"Never!" He promised, nodding eagerly; then he winced, rubbing at his arm. He was obviously coming down from his adrenaline high. "I'll, uh, just go and— have you seen the medical kit?"

"In the bathroom," she mumbled, pointing down the hall.

"Thanks," he said, and disappeared from the room.

She experienced a disturbing, prickly sensation in her chest then, which she really didn't appreciate. He didn't have to sound so damn _happy_ about never ever doing that again, did he? Jeez,_ she_ was the one who was out of his league, not the other way around! He'd never get the chance to kiss anyone like her ever again, didn't he get that? What the heck was his problem anyway, why the heck did he even do it in the first place if he didn't even—

His mouth had been warm and soft and had tasted a little like coffee...and spearmint, probably from his toothpaste.

Which unfortunately turned out to be one of those flavour combinations that were kind of hard to get rid of. Or maybe it was just her imagination that the taste remained.

About an hour later, she stomped into his lab and kicked his leg hard, promptly turning on her heel and walking off when he yelped in surprise and pain, hopping on one foot as he stared in incomprehension after her.

"What in the world was _that_ for?" He howled, shaking his fist.

She didn't answer. She didn't know.

_**TBC.**_

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**Author's note:** "Do you loooove me? Do you love me? Do you loooove me? Do you love me? Do you loooove me? Do you love me? Noooow that I can daaaance?"

Thanks once more to my lovely beta, **Charlotte C,** who still endures. Thank you for your many kind words and suggestions. I'm glad you still find the story engaging.

**Maslow:** This last scene with the kiss and all is one of those things that had to be cut out of _Maslow_ way back when, probably some time last Spring or Summer. It was written before I'd decided to let _Maslow_ follow the course of the KP episodes much more closely, and it suddenly just didn't fit anymore. It was the scene that inspired this entire story.

**Happy Hill of Beans:** This is the chapter that explains the silly title. 'A hill of beans' in colloquial American is a symbol for something of trifling value, as in expressions like 'it ain't worth a hill of beans'. Its most famous appearance, which brought it to the notice of a wide international public, was at the end of the film _Casablanca_, in which Humphrey Bogart says to Ingrid Bergman, "Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world".

In the case of _Happy Hill of Beans_, it's about being happy about something little. About seeing potential. That, and it was the best title I could come up with, even after brainstorming with my friends. XD

"**Yeah, you'd think the giant statue of Dr. D woulda given it away, huh?":** A comment that my beta made that I liked so much that I had to rewrite it slightly and make it part of the dialogue. XD

**Flux C****apacitor:** Do I even have to explain where this is from? Seriously? Think, McFly, think! _(Here's some of that nerd humor for you, Andy. XD)_

**Tom Jones:** Yeah, not gonna bother making a KP-verse parody of this name. Sometimes real world artists do appear in KP, too. Like Smashmouth in the episode _Queen Bebe_.

* * *


	7. Spilling The Beans

**Happy Hill of Beans**

Ninnik Nishukan

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**Summary: **A little tale about confidence. Set post-_Odds Man In, _but doesn't rule out the following episodes. Drakken/Shego. General/humor/drama/friendship/romance.

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**Spilling The Beans

* * *

**

"Hello? Shego?"

"Aaah!" There was a loud yelp and a thump as Shego tumbled off the couch in the lab, a slim stack of books falling after her.

Drakken couldn't help but grin. "So much for ninja reflexes."

Shego showed her lack of amusement by attempting to drill a hole in his skull with her glare. "When did _you_ get home?" She demanded; and then, before he could even answer: "What do you _want_?" She all but hissed, scrambling to her feet and gathering up the fallen books. From the other side of the couch, Drakken failed to notice the way she hastily shoved the small pile of books under a couch cushion, glancing suspiciously at him.

"Well, I just wanted to—" He began, but halted, frowning. "Have you been holed up here all _day_?" He asked, puzzled as he realized that she'd been sitting in the exact same spot she'd been sitting in when he'd left that morning, and was still wearing the same dark jeans and soft, green sweater. He remembered telling her goodbye and that he'd be back before dinner, but he'd only gotten a distracted grunt in return.

"So what?" She said defensively. "It's not like I have to be Action Gal twenty-four-seven, is it?"

He stared at her, a bit flabbergasted at her continuing hostility. He'd been in a good mood when he'd returned home, and didn't feel like ruining it. "No, but, you know…what with us having been pardoned and the fact that we can finally go wherever we want now without getting arrested, I just thought—"

She scoffed. "Without getting arrested? Yeah. Without getting hounded by the press? _Nooot_ so much."

"Didn't you tell me just yesterday that the press was nothing you couldn't handle?" He reminded her, a bit smug.

"_Can_ handle? Sure. _Want_ to handle? That's a whole other story." She said dismissively before her mouth quirked into a smile. "Besides, as long as I've known you, you've always complained about me doing things like, what was it you called it— oh, yeah…'joy riding and chasing boys left and right', 'dillydallying at department stores and running off on vacations at the most inopportune of moments'," She quoted in a haughty parody of his voice. "…so shouldn't you stop giving me a hard time when I'm actually spending a dayat home?" She teased, the hint of a chuckle in her voice.

Drakken harrumphed. "I merely wanted to know why— and you really _were_ dillydallying, you know!" He pointed out, getting sidetracked once more. "You came home with mountains of clothing, yet you always seemed to be wearing the same old outfit! Looked like a waste of time to me. Did you ever actually _wear_ any of it or did you just collect it like stamps?" He queried sardonically.

Shego gave him an enigmatic smirk. "Wouldn't _you _like to know…!"

Drakken threw his hands up and gave a sigh as if to say: "Women!"

"So, where have you been all day?" Shego asked across her shoulder as she walked towards the kitchen, smoothing down her sweater as she went.

"The Middleton Institute of Science and Technology." He said, trailing after her.

Shego gave him an overbearing glance before she opened the fridge. "And you accuse _me_ of being holed up?"

"We went out to lunch, you know." Drakken remarked sulkily. "And they gave me a tour of the complex."

"A _tour_?" Shego looked incredulous as she pulled the carton of tropical juice out of the refrigerator. "Do they not _remember _that we've broken into that dump, like, at least _twice_? And didn't you even go to _college_ there?"

Drakken rolled his eyes. "Hah, yes, it was all I could do to keep from laughing, but they were so eager to show me how their 'little operation' had changed since my college days that I didn't have the heart to tell them I know the new layout of the place like the back of my own lab gloves!"

Shego clucked her tongue as she poured herself some juice and put the carton back. "That's what meeting celebrities does to people, I guess."

Drakken beamed. "'Celebrities'. I like the sound of that."

"Well, it's weird, but it's true." Shego shrugged, taking a swig of juice. "That's what we are now."

"Yes! We're _famous _instead of _infamous_!" He exclaimed gleefully, nudging her side with his elbow.

Shego groaned. "Just…stick with the science and let _me_ handle the jokes, huh, Doc?"

Drakken glared, his lips pursing. "Oh, and as if _you're _the next Terry Steinfeld!" He snapped, stalking back into the lab in a huff.

Sighing, Shego drained her glass and put it in the sink. Things had been so peaceful before he'd come back.

Still, she found herself following him back into the lab instead of simply going to her own room. Her feet were funny like that sometimes. They'd gotten her into a lot of trouble over the years by following Dr. D.

In the lab, Drakken was stewing, cursing the couch as he simply couldn't seem to get comfortable. "Since when is the couch this _lumpy_?" He challenged the world in general as he scooted around, occasionally beating at the cushions with a fist.

Shego rolled her eyes. "Yeesh. _Princess and the Pea_ much, Doc?"

"Let's give Shego a big hand, everybody," Drakken grunted sardonically. "Could you stop being so hilarious for five seconds and help me figure out what's wrong with the couch— huh?" He squinted, bewildered as he pulled out an old, worn and very familiar book. '_Introduction to Robotics: Mechanics and Control'?_ He thought, frowning, _I've barely even__ looked__ at that in over two decades!_ He dug some more, and there was '_Intermediate Robot Building'_…and then finally '_Mutation, Developmental Selection, and Plant Evolution'_, which was a much more recent publication. "What are _these_ doing here?" He asked himself absentmindedly. "I thought I put these in my room…?"

Her eyes widening, Shego sprang into action, finally realizing that she'd forgotten all about the books she'd been reading. _Gah, why did I put 'em under the frickin' couch __**stuffing**__? Why didn't I just slide 'em __**under**__ the couch?_

Now she rushed towards Drakken, already too late. She hadn't meant for him to find out like this; not when she wasn't even sure what exactly she was doing yet.

"Give that back!" She blurted lamely, trying to tug one of the books from his grasp.

Drakken seemed baffled, but then he growled, tugging back until she decided to let go. "Where did you get these? Did you go into my _room_?" He demanded, pointing a stern finger down the hallway, nostrils flaring with outrage. His room was— was _private_! She _never_ went in there, just as he _never_ went into _her_ room— they'd never broken that agreement before, and to have her suddenly do so was just— what had she done in there? What had she _seen_?

Shego could feel her frame stiffen and quiver with embarrassment. "Um…"

For a second, Drakken looked like he was going to yell at her some more, but then a curious look crossed his face. "Shego…have you _read_ any of these yet?"

Shego squirmed a little, looking like she'd prefer to take off rather than talk; finally, she nodded. "I'm… about two-thirds through this one." She said, picking up '_Mutation, Developmental Selection, and Plant Evolution'._

He drew a surprised breath. If he recalled correctly, that book was a little over four hundred pages in total. "And…and do you _understand_ it?" He asked intently, his curiosity firmly winning over the indignation of having had her invade his privacy.

She sent him a distrustful look, but found nothing but honest surprise and interest; no patronizing intent. "Well, some of the science lingo I've had to look up, but yeah…I think I've got most of it."

His eyes were wide with fascination. "Really?" She always seemed so…impatient, and was always dismissing his attempts at scientific conversation as 'nerdy ranting' or 'geektastic', so he had some trouble imagining her totally immersed in literature concerning the very same subjects.

"Hey, I haven't hung around _you _for five years without picking up a thing or two, okay?" She began fiercely. "I mean, I've piloted your hover car," She went on, ticking off each item on her fingers, "I've used your super weapons, I can read your charts and blueprints and I've been your lab assistant from time to time, haven't I?"

He realized he was gaping at her, and shut his mouth. "But I thought you never listened."

She cocked her hip, scoffing slightly. "Oh, I listen, I just try to filter out the unimportant parts. You do have a tendency to _babble_."

"It's not babbling! It's just a…a stream of consciousness!" He spluttered, offended. "I'm very creative, I can't help it!"

Shego smirked. "Riiight…"

"And besides, I'm sure you've missed a lot of important stuff with your little 'filter' system." Drakken accused, scowling.

Shego made a small, exasperated and strangely embarrassed sound in her throat. "Yeah, well…maybe I have." She admitted, to his surprise. "Why d'ya think I'm reading all this stuff, anyway?" She added, a bit irritably.

"Why _are_ you?" He asked, earnestly perplexed.

Tossing her hair somewhat self-consciously, she tried to think of how to explain herself; to Shego, it felt like she was trying to figure out her own intentions for herself even as she was telling _him_ about them. "I dunno, I guess that…after all these years, I figured maybe I should actually find out what kind of business I'm in." She said haltingly, shrugging. "What you've been doing all this time while I've been listening to you rant or been out running dangerous errands for you or been on vacation."

Drakken stared at her for a while, and while he wasn't willing to bet money on it, it actually looked like she was blushing, if only a little. It manifested itself in fascinating, soft shades of pink and green.

"Well…great! It's about time!" He blurted briskly, breaking the silence, which was starting to become just a teensy bit awkward.

It seemed she wasn't entirely comfortable with the fact that he'd discovered what she'd been doing lately. It was no wonder, really, he thought, considering she'd spent the last five years or so convincing him on a daily basis exactly how _little_ what he did impressed her.

So while he felt pleasantly surprised, he could tell it wouldn't be welcome to confront her any further about it. The simple fact that she'd been sneaking around and had gone through his things without permission instead of just borrowing the books from him made it abundantly clear that she was embarrassed over her developing interest in his research.

"As if." Shego muttered, but there was a faint smile on her lips. "See…you're never gonna be a martial artist master, and I'm never gonna be a scientific wiz, but hey, you were ballsy enough to try on my world, right?" She explained, her tone light. "Maybe I wanted to see what you were up to in yours."

"That sounds…reasonable." Drakken said neutrally, still not entirely certain what to make of her, and her uncharacteristic activities. "But if you want to read about robotics, you might want to consider buying some newer books." He added, as the thought suddenly struck him. "I mean, these aren't exactly up to date. I just sort of keep them around for their sentimental value."

"Yeah, tell me about it— I think I was still in _kindergarten_ when those were published," Shego said with a scoff.

He was about to snap at her, suspecting that she was mocking his age, but there was something about the evasive tone in her voice that caused him pause; that told him that it was more about just trying to avoid the subject of her recent studies than seriously trying to make fun of him.

Shego cleared her throat, looking down. "So…what did you want, anyway?"

Shaking his head, Drakken tried to recall what his original intentions had been; he'd gotten so distracted that it was bad even by _his_ standards. "Uh, well…the thing is that my old University asked me to hold a lecture on Saturday. They want me to tell them how I did it, and to demonstrate my new powers…"

"And?" Shego asked nonchalantly, giving a one-shouldered shrug. "What's the problem?"

Drakken winced a little as he got ready to tell her the next part. "Well, as I'm sure you've noticed, I don't actually, um…hold full control over my powers yet. They tend to take on a life of their own when I get…uh, flustered." He told her somewhat shyly, hoping she wouldn't mention his little episode at the UN earlier that week. It had been embarrassing enough that the press had been there and the picture of them wrapped closely together by his plant had made the cover of _Humans_ magazine— he didn't need to be reminded of it yet _again_.

"And you're, what, afraid that you'll have problems with…premature pollination on stage?" Shego chuckled.

Drakken's eyes practically bugged out at the comment, his face turning a vivid purple. "Shego!" He barked in warning, but it only made her laugh heartily, clutching her stomach.

Drakken snarled. "Shego! You stop laughing this _instant _or I swear I'll—"

BLOOP!

"—I'll…oh, for crying out loud!" Drakken howled, frantically tearing the accursed, yellow petals away from his neck. "See? This is _exactly_ the kind of thing I don't want to happen in front of my old college professors!"

By now, Shego was gasping helplessly for air, laughing so hard she had to lean on the back of the couch to be able to stand. "Wahahahah!"

Drakken was starting to turn white with anger now, his hands balling into fists. "Shego! I'm _warning_ you!"

Before either of them quite knew what was going on, Drakken's vine had wrapped around Shego, picked her up, lifted her above his head—

—and then apparently proceeded to use her on him as if she was some sort of human-sized club, their heads connecting with a dull 'BONK!', before it simply dropped her on top of him like a sack of potatoes, and retreated.

Drakken and Shego ended up in a tangled heap of limbs, clutching their heads in pain and groaning.

Shego was the first to get to her feet, immediately whirling on him and shouting down into his face: "What was _that_ for?"

Drakken shot upright as well, wagging a finger at her as he snarled: "I _told_ you I couldn't quite control my powers yet!"

"Well, then you better learn quick, because—"

"That's just it!"

She hesitated. "What?"

"I want you to teach me!" He told her, pausing before adding, in a slightly mellower voice: "I mean— who better?"

Shego stared at him. Even after how much he'd complained the last time, he still wanted her to train him again? And this time with powers, making it much more dangerous?

That didn't sound like the Drakken that whined over getting a paper cut. Not at all. One of these days, she was going to figure him out…but today didn't seem like it would be that day.

And she was getting intrigued again.

She'd been bored lately, and she had to admit that she'd wanted— not needed; never that— to catch his interest again, the way she'd done when they were sparring.

That time on the train a few months ago, when it had been about to blow up…well, mainly, she'd left because she was angry over the fact that he'd not only screwed up again but had put her life in danger, but she'd also expected him to follow her.

When he hadn't followed, she hadn't waited for him because…well, she'd figured that she should let him get out of one of his own pickles for once, and…maybe because part of her hoped and even believed he'd be able to hold his own against Kim Possible again.

It was dangerous and perhaps too stern a method of teaching, but from what she'd been able to see from the helicopter as she'd followed the train, he'd actually managed quite well…up until the point where he'd hit that tunnel roof, that was.

She'd stopped to help him home, and he'd accepted her offer, but he hadn't appreciated being left behind. He was in a foul mood the rest of the week, hardly approachable, and it wasn't as if she was going to ask him if he wanted to train when he was recovering from a head injury in any case.

After that, there was Frugal Lucre stealing his attention, then there was the time he was possessed by the spirit of Blackeye Brown…and in between that and his recent absorption with all things green— things that weren't _her_— they basically hadn't really worked out or sparred together for months now.

But now, he wanted to pick up where they left off, apparently…with the added excitement of his new super powers, which she had to admit she was getting curious about. He had, after all, taken down advanced alien technology with them. Not to mention that all this also begged the question of how his powers would react to her own.

This could get…very interesting.

Still…they didn't have much time, and he was sort of out of practice.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Shego pressed. "I mean, we haven't trained in four _months_!"

He blinked. "Really? Are you sure it's been _that_ long?"

"Yeah, remember?" She said, nodding. "I was training you while you repaired Project Protean? And then we finally tried it out?"

"Hah! Yes, I remember! That was great! Especially when we threatened to use my sonic disrupter to…uh, _disrupt_ the Pentagon! And when we slowed down time on the Wall Street stock market!" He whooped. "Honestly, I could have watched those rabid brokers trying to make their bids in slow motion all day! And the panic-selling that ensued…absolute chaos! And then, of course, there was the bailout-plan-of-the-month for all the stockholders and retirees who lost their shirts because the government was helpless to stop us!" Drakken laughed, slapping his knee in delight.

"And when we threatened to annihilate the moon! And started disrupting Mount Everest! And breaking the Hoover Dam! And speeding up random eighteen wheelers on the highway!" Another bark of laughter came as he gestured wildly: "I mean, Kim Possible had no idea what to deal with first! It was hilarious, watching her running around! She never saw it coming, because she didn't expect me to use the same plan twice in a row!"

Shego couldn't keep from cracking a grin, either. "Not to mention the fact that those Smarty Mart shares I snapped up have already split twice since things got back to normal. Guess the old adage to 'buy low and sell high' _is_ good advice."

"Yes! Didn't I _tell_ you that Project Protean would be _brilliant_, Shego?" Drakken gloated, puffing up his chest.

"Yeah, well…it _seemed_ to be working until the cheerleader called on Global Justice and some kinda secret ninja squad, anyway," Shego pointed out, waving a hand, "whoever _they _were."

"Well, how could I have known she'd do _that_?" Drakken demanded, throwing his hands up. "She usually just works with her little friends!"

Shego shrugged. "I'll give ya that one, Doc. I didn't know, either."

He nodded, sending her a quick smile. "Thank you, Shego."

His feeling of gratitude faded when she spoke next, however: "Of course, _then _you managed to zap our getaway vehicle with your time thingie so we couldn't move, and we were captured by Miss Priss." She reminded him bluntly.

Drakken's face fell a bit. He'd forgotten about that part. "Oh…right." He harrumphed. "Anyway, you really mean to say that's the last time we had lessons?" He interjected, trying to change the subject to avoid any mocking.

Shego nodded firmly. "Yep. Then there was that whole thing with your super concentrated mind control formula, then there was the pirate ghost who possessed you, yadda yadda, the list goes on— you might say we got well and truly _off track_ there, Doc." She added with a deliberate lack of subtlety, subjecting him to a rather accusing look that dimly reminded him of how his mother might look while guilt-tripping him.

Despite this, Drakken only faltered for a second or two before plowing on. "No matter— we'll start again, then!" He enthused.

Shego frowned, she wanted to start her evil teaching again, but she was uncertain how she was supposed to be able to figure out how to tame his plant powers before Saturday. "Yeah, uh…I don't really know…" She began, grimacing with doubt.

"But…but you _must_ have had some problems with your powers when you first got them, right?" Drakken prompted, trying to play the sympathy/understanding angle. If only he could make her realize that he was in the same position that she must've been in all those years ago, he was sure he'd be able to coax her to help him. If it took a bit of wheedling and guilt-tripping, then, well…he was in trouble, and wasn't afraid to resort to those things.

Shego hesitated, old mental videos of melted phones, chairs, various incinerated clothing, books, magazines and curtains and assorted hair disasters starting to replay in her head. "Um…well, there were…a _few_ hiccups…" She admitted grudgingly.

Drakken beamed, self-content. "I knew it! So will you help me?"

Shego gave his face a long, appraising look before answering. "That depends."

"On what?" He asked, curious.

Her eyebrow rose in challenge. "Are you actually going to_ pay_ me this time?"

Drakken rolled his eyes, shoulders sagging in defeat. "Okay, but remember you have to get me ready by Saturday!"

Shego had to restrain herself from slapping her forehead in frustration. "Rrghh…"

He wouldn't let up: "So, will you?"

"I'd have to check my _schedule_." She said dryly.

A smirk quirked the corner of his mouth as he finally figured out which button to push with her. "Will you be _able_ to help me?"

She couldn't help but smirk back at that; he knew exactly what he was doing. "Well…I do love a challenge."

"Good," he said, smiling. The smile soon paled, however. "You know, Shego…um, about my lecture…" Drakken gulped, clasping her hand between his on an impulse. "It would mean a lot to me if you would be there."

Shego raised an eyebrow. "Can I bring my mePod and some popcorn?" She teased, trying to ignore the warm tingle in her hand and the fact that it almost felt like he was asking her out on a date.

"I guess if you actually manage to stay awake, I can't complain, right?" He retorted sourly.

She gave him a crooked smile. "Wouldn't wanna miss the most thrilling social event of the year, now would I?"

He answered her with a brief scowl, but then his expression turned serious and a little nervous as he let go of her hand. "Um…Shego?"

Shego's hand was still tingling, and she swallowed as she saw the anxious, searching look in his eyes. "Hey, uh, Dr. D," she hurried to say, clearing her throat loudly. "How about we head over to the training room and see what we can do about those new powers of yours, huh? I could use to stretch my legs after just sitting all day."

Drakken groaned. "I don't know, Shego, I'm kind of tired. Can't it wait until tomorrow? I was thinking of starting dinner."

Shego's eyes flashed with annoyance. "_You're_ the one who said you had to be ready for Saturday! Today's _Wednesday_ already!"

Drakken paled. "I thought it was _Monday_…!"

"Ugh! You are _so_ getting a planner for your birthday, mister!"

He pouted. "A planner? But that's so _boring_! That's like getting _socks_! Or a necktie, or—"

She growled.

Drakken eep'ed, taking a step back. "—and why wait for my birthday? I'll go buy a planner _tomorrow_!"

Dragging a hand across her face, Shego sighed as she eventually began to calm down again. "You're…you're hopeless, Doc."

An uncomfortable coldness trickled down Drakken's spine, and he swallowed. He didn't exactly know why he reacted this way _now_— he was used to her saying things like that— but it had something to do with how they hadn't trained for months, and how he'd, somewhere in his preoccupied mind, been wondering if she'd given up on him again, if maybe it was too late to start over. And to find that out _now_, when he _really_ needed her help, would be twice as hard a blow. "You're not changing your mind, are you?"

She gave an exasperated chuckle. "No, no…I think…I think we can manage to do this, actually."

Drakken brightened immediately, drawing a deep breath as relief coursed through him. "I _knew _I could count on you!" He cheered, almost laughing as the fear fled him like an exorcized ghost. The departure of his worry, however, also turned out to coincide with the arrival of the urge to embrace his lovely sidekick.

He swallowed, stamping down on the impulse, covering it up by smiling at her. He'd had that urge a little too often lately, nosing along his more normal thoughts like tadpoles along rocks. Even now, his hands were itching to settle on her shoulders.

Shego stared; once again, he was giving her that look she hadn't seen for three months, the one where it seemed like she was Snowman Hank and good home cooking and victory and a shiny, new lab all rolled into one— except…except, that wasn't totally true, was it?

Earlier that week, when she'd come to rescue him from the Lorwardians…then, there had _also_ been that look. As he'd caught sight of her and had realized she was coming for him, that she hadn't forgotten about him, his entire face had lit up like a Christmas tree, practically glowing from the inside, and he'd reached out for her—

Until…until he'd suddenly…well, she wasn't quite sure what had happened, but he'd caught himself, and he'd stopped, and the moment had whooshed straight by her by like a busy Go City cab.

But now, there was that look again, and she realized that his arms had reached out for her for a second before dropping back to his sides. As she watched him smiling awkwardly at her, she had the disturbing sensation that she was being filled up with hot, steaming water from head to toe, and it dawned on her that she was holding her breath.

She let it go, trying to seem casual even as her chest boiled and her throat felt tight.

"So, when do we begin?" Drakken asked, and the fact that there was a little tremble in his voice made her feel marginally better. He'd noticed it, too, whatever it was, he'd noticed that not everything was…normal. And in fact, she could see his whole body vibrating gently, as if he was holding his breath, trying to be calm.

That was when she decided to…_say_ something.

It wouldn't be the first time she'd ever flirted with Dr. D, but before, it had always been within the realm of mocking or teasing. Nothing serious, and certainly nothing with any particular _intentions_— except for amusing herself, of course.

But now, there was something…_mutual_ there that made her think that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to say something that actually _did_ have some sort of intent behind it.

She'd never really felt the urge before, but now she wanted to, and was surprised to find that she _could_.

"Tell you what," She began, her flirtatious grin belying the nervous flutter in her stomach. She tried to keep her voice nonchalant as she went on, but the sudden rush of hot, nauseous fear made it a harder task that she'd anticipated. "If you can post-pone dinner an hour or so to do some training, I promise you that you'll get something _much_ better than an 'I told you so' for dessert."

The comment sounded quite suggestive, but she wasn't worried. This was _Drakken_, the guy who never laughed at the henchmen's dirty jokes (not that she did either, as lame as they were) and never made any of those kinds of jokes himself. He probably wouldn't read too much into it, if he even got it at all. She really hoped he'd get it, though, because it would be way too embarrassing to have to actually _explain_ what she wanted.

For some reason, it felt like the bravest thing she'd ever said, and she'd said and done a lot of very brave things in her life…some even gutsy or downright insane. This one would have to be filed under 'insane', she figured.

Drakken frowned. "Dessert? What, like pie? Or ice cream or—" He froze, then, blinking at her suddenly very irked expression. Slowly, comprehension dawned, and brought with it a fierce blush. "Oh. Um, you mean…?"

Shego hesitated, but eventually nodded.

"K-kissy face?" He asked tentatively, somehow sounding both scared and hopeful.

Shego almost snorted in laughter at how he'd managed to reduce that big, frightening, drastic step into something small and silly by simply uttering three syllables, and the fact that his reaction had been just as innocent as she'd expected. "If you insist on calling it that, yeah."

Drakken gaped. "Are you kidding?"

She shrugged. "Probably not."

"_Probably_? What's _that_ supposed to mean?" He asked, frowning with perplexity.

Again, there was a shrug, possibly even more careless this time. "It means probably."

An irritated little snort left him. "Which _means_?"

"Probably," she repeated, knowing she was driving him nuts and really starting to enjoy it.

"Okay…_okay_, so now you're going to be _difficult_, huh?" He said through clenched teeth, scowling deeply at her. He was getting fed up.

"Well, what can I say," she began teasingly, "it's a talent. I just can't seem to help myse—"

Her words died in her throat when, darting forward, Drakken gave her mouth a quick kiss, and stepped back again just as quickly, as if he was an inexperienced tourist who'd just attempted to feed a dangerous zoo animal.

Shego blinked. Okay…she _so_ hadn't expected that.

The kiss had been a bit clumsy, but it had also been warm and soft, and she wasn't used to being timidly pecked on the lips like that-- more like Frenching on the beach or in a hotel room— so while she tried to get a grip, she could still feel her face heating up with the shock.

"Uh…"

From what he felt was a safe distance, Drakken tilted his head at her, studying her curiously for a moment. "You're…actually _not_ kidding, are you?" He asked eventually, his eyes widening as she still failed to get angry at him.

Shego gave a delicate cough; her voice was a bit hoarse when she spoke. "Um...well…no."

As he finally got her answer, he almost asked her _why_ she'd suddenly decided she wanted to kiss him in the very immediate future, but wisely held his tongue. Judging by her strangely jittery expression, she might not even be able to answer the question completely. _Oh well, _Drakken thought, feeling almost detached and dream-like as the interesting bit of news danced recklessly around in his brain, _better not look a gift horse in the mouth._

The funny thing was that it wouldn't be the first time they'd kissed…more like the fourth or fifth or however high their kissing count was now, after all those Moodulator-induced kisses, not to mention that time three months ago when he'd been so overwhelmed by success and pride and gratefulness that he'd swooped her up and— well, it wouldn't be the first time.

That didn't make it any less scary, though. Because, of course, the next time would be the one that _really_ counted.

For at least fifteen seconds, neither of them spoke, simply staring at each other. It was Drakken that finally broke the silence.

"Shego," he said softly, almost absently, "you do realize that what with my new powers, and your powers, together we're probably the most…well, powerful villains in the world…right?"

"Uh huh," she nodded, smiling a smile that was anything but innocent. "What are we gonna do about that?"

He hummed pensively in the back of his throat, rubbing his chin. "Well…I'm certainly not going to retire, but…I don't know about you, but I think perhaps I want to enjoy all this attention and respect and free money for a while, at least. Maybe I could spend a little more time than usual on the next plan."

"Enough time for me to get another degree?" She suggested brightly, but he could tell it was something she was going to do with or without his consent.

He raised his brow, intrigued. "You want to go back to _school_?"

She nodded, stretching her arms lazily above her head like a cat to work the cricks from sitting for so long out of her back. "Maybe. I was thinking…Botany. Or Robotics. Whichever one of those has the least boring professors."

His heart clenched and swelled in his chest at what she'd said and at what had sounded like a promise, somewhere between the lines. He found he was having a slight difficulty keeping his voice even when he tried to speak next, so he didn't say much. Revelation after revelation…it was getting to be a bit overwhelming.

"Really?" He asked simply, his voice more gravelly than usual.

"Yep." She said, turning her head half-way towards him and sending him a sort of coy, little smile from behind her hair. "You think you might know somebody willing to help me with my homework?"

Ah, so the tables were turning, huh? His mouth twitched as he attempted to avoid grinning. "That depends."

"On what?" She asked suspiciously.

He had to grin now. "Are you going to _pay_ me?"

"Oh, shut up," she said, but she was trying not to laugh.

Later that evening, Drakken discovered that kissy face really _was_ a lot more satisfying that being able to say 'I told you so'.

Even for a villain.

**The End.

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**

**Author's note:** "You don't hate jazz. You _fear_ jazz."

I apologize for the lateness of this, the final chapter of HHOB, but Real Life has kicked in something _fierce_ lately, and between studies and my new job, I just haven't had the time.

**Thank you, thank you to my beta, Charlotte C**, who was extremely quick to beta read this time, for which I am very grateful. Thank you for the thorough beta and the helpful suggestions.

**Reader:** _'Well, Ninnik, aren't you gonna write something where she teaches him how to use the plant powers?' _**Ninnik: '**_Nope. __This is the end. EET EES OVAR.'_

**Book titles:** Found them by googling words like 'robotics' and 'botany'. I also used amazon dot com.

**Terry Steinfeld:** I am just making nooo effort anymore, am I? XD Meh, Terry can also be a girl's name, so that's why I chose it. Steinfeld is the last name of a famous Norwegian journalist.

**BLOOP!:** Flower sound effect stolen from Sarah Ashley T. Just because it's so cute. XD

_**Clean Slate**_: No, I'm not so sentimental and ship-crazed that I think that's why she actually left him on the train. Those are just the reasons given here, in this AU, where she's been training him and all, which she didn't do on the show.

**Smarty**** Mart stocks etc:** These two lines were suggested by my beta, Charlotte. I liked them, and had to incorporate them into the story:

**This**** one:** _"And the panic-selling that ensued…absolute chaos! And then, of course, there was the bailout-plan-of-the-month for all the stockholders and retirees who lost their shirts because the government was helpless to stop us!"_

**And this one: **_"Yeah, and those Smarty Mart shares I snapped up have already split twice since things got back to normal. Guess the old adage to 'buy low and sell high' __**is**__ good advice."_

_Thanks, Char! :)_

'**Dessert'****: **The kind of joke that people made for D/S captions at RS Net all the time last year. XD Of course, this one was a bit more innocent since 'dessert' meant kissy face, not sex.

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